Posts Tagged nutters
Department of Redundancy Department: Del Monte to Sell Single Bananas Wrapped in Plastic, What?
Posted by mistergroonk in Marketing, USA on March 8, 2011
While the trial may seem bizarre at a time when big businesses are under pressure to reduce packaging waste, Del Monte insists the addition of a clear plastic bag is actually a green measure.
The company claims that the bag contains ‘Controlled Ripening Technology’ – which extends the shelf-life of the banana by up to six days.
The banana is put into the plastic bag when it is green and, according to the manufacturers, goes on to ripen more slowly than if it had been left in the open air.
The product is also being trialled in the U.S. where the wrapped bananas are selling for one dollar each
For $1 a piece we’d rather pay a banana spider to take a nibble on our leg. The bite is dangerous and quite possibly deadly. But a side-effect from this horrible exercise: uncontrollable boners.
At least the banana spider gives us something we can use.
Read the rest of this entry »
18 Examples of Right-Wing Domestic Terrorism Detailed by Freelance Journalist and Author David Neiwert
Posted by mistergroonk in USA on January 13, 2011
This just popped up in our Tumblr feed. We followed the reblog links to the source on Digby. A source that Ben Templesmith had already shared on his Tumblr. These Tumblr reblogs can have a bit of a spammy quality. In this case, it doesn’t make them less true.
This is ground we’ve not tread on in a long time. We’ve always been about more than entertainment news. Perhaps it’s time to step out of that comfort zone. If only once in a while.
Follow the link from Digby or Templesmith to get links to each and every article mentioned below.
— July 2008: A gunman named Jim David Adkisson, agitated at how “liberals” are “destroying America,” walks into a Unitarian Church and opens fire, killing two churchgoers and wounding four others.
— October 2008: Two neo-Nazis are arrested in Tennessee in a plot to murder dozens of African-Americans, culminating in the assassination of President Obama.
— December 2008: A pair of “Patriot” movement radicals — the father-son team of Bruce and Joshua Turnidge, who wanted “to attack the political infrastructure” — threaten a bank in Woodburn, Oregon, with a bomb in the hopes of extorting money that would end their financial difficulties, for which they blamed the government. Instead, the bomb goes off and kills two police officers. The men eventually are convicted and sentenced to death for the crime.
— December 2008: In Belfast, Maine, police discover the makings of a nuclear “dirty bomb” in the basement of a white supremacist shot dead by his wife. The man, who was independently wealthy, reportedly was agitated about the election of President Obama and was crafting a plan to set off the bomb.
— January 2009: A white supremacist named Keith Luke embarks on a killing rampage in Brockton, Mass., raping and wounding a black woman and killing her sister, then killing a homeless man before being captured by police as he is en route to a Jewish community center.
— February 2009: A Marine named Kody Brittingham is arrested and charged with plotting to assassinate President Obama. Brittingham also collected white-supremacist material.
— April 2009: A white supremacist named Richard Poplawski opens fire on three Pittsburgh police officers who come to his house on a domestic-violence call and kills all three, because he believed President Obama intended to take away the guns of white citizens like himself. Poplawski is currently awaiting trial.
— April 2009: Another gunman in Okaloosa County, Florida, similarly fearful of Obama’s purported gun-grabbing plans, kills two deputies when they come to arrest him in a domestic-violence matter, then is killed himself in a shootout with police.
— May 2009: A “sovereign citizen” named Scott Roeder walks into a church in Wichita, Kansas, and assassinates abortion provider Dr. George Tiller.
— June 2009: A Holocaust denier and right-wing tax protester named James Von Brunn opens fire at the Holocaust Museum, killing a security guard.
— February 2010: An angry tax protester named Joseph Ray Stack flies an airplane into the building housing IRS offices in Austin, Texas. (Media are reluctant to label this one “domestic terrorism” too.)
— March 2010: Seven militiamen from the Hutaree Militia in Michigan and Ohio are arrested and charged with plotting to assassinate local police officers with the intent of sparking a new civil war.
— March 2010: An anti-government extremist named John Patrick Bedell walks into the Pentagon and opens fire, wounding two officers before he is himself shot dead.
— May 2010: A “sovereign citizen” from Georgia is arrested in Tennessee and charged with plotting the violent takeover of a local county courthouse.
— May 2010: A still-unidentified white man walks into a Jacksonville, Fla., mosque and sets it afire, simultaneously setting off a pipe bomb.
— May 2010: Two “sovereign citizens” named Jerry and Joe Kane gun down two police officers who pull them over for a traffic violation, and then wound two more officers in a shootout in which both of them are eventually killed.
— July 2010: An agitated right-winger and convict named Byron Williams loads up on weapons and drives to the Bay Area intent on attacking the offices of the Tides Foundation and the ACLU, but is intercepted by state patrolmen and engages them in a shootout and armed standoff in which two officers and Williams are wounded.
— September 2010: A Concord, N.C., man is arrested and charged with plotting to blow up a North Carolina abortion clinic. The man, 26-year–old Justin Carl Moose, referred to himself as the “Christian counterpart to (Osama) bin Laden†in a taped undercover meeting with a federal informant.
Parents Hire Devil Clown to Horrify Children on Birthdays, Therapy Costs Not Included
Posted by mistergroonk in World on April 19, 2010
Dominic Deville stalks young victims for a week, sending chilling texts, making prank phone calls and setting traps in letterboxes.He posts notes warning children they are being watched, telling them they will be attacked.
[…]‘The child feels more and more that it is being pursued,’ said Deville.
‘The clown’s one and only aim is to smash a cake into the face of his victim, when they least expect it, during the course of seven days.’
If the boy or girl manages to avoid the ‘hit’, they are given the cake as a birthday present. Well, that’s alright then.
You know why things like this don’t happen in the US of A? Remember what happened to [name censored] in ZOMBIELAND?
Yeah, you do.
Friends of Groonk don’t get any ideas. Our boomstick remains at the ready.
via 7d, Metro
Q: Did They Pass Health Care Reform? A: Unicorns
Posted by mistergroonk in USA on March 22, 2010
These days we try to adopt a policy of not being political. Why? Crazy heated debates ensue. Headaches are made. Fists wish to fly on their own. Most importantly, others do that dance hella better than we ever dare. Three points do come to mind.
1) This site is made of positives and unicorns: http://didtheypasshealthcarereform.com/
2) Apparently name-calling remains the primary weapon in getting people to change their opinions/notice you.
According to Rep. Andre Carson, the protesters “were shouting the N-word” as he and two fellow black legislators left the Cannon House Office Building earlier today. Sam Stein at the Huffington Post is also reporting that “a staffer for Rep. James Clyburn (D-S.C.) told reporters that Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.) had been spat on by a protestor. Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.), a hero of the civil rights movement, was called a ‘ni—er.’ And Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) was called a “faggot,” as protestors shouted at him with deliberately lisp-y screams.”
Keep it classy, fuckos. What? We never claimed to be always classy.
3) It seems a Conservative Blogger Calls For Obama’s Assassination On Twitter. You can see screencaps of the message and updates on how long it’ll take the Secret Service to give this person a “good talking to” here.
That is all. Next stop comics and movies and science and weird stuff happening world round.
AVATAR Fans Depressed Pandora Isn’t Real? Forget They Live in the 21st Frakking Century.
Posted by mistergroonk in Movies on January 13, 2010
CNN informs* that some audiences of James Cameron’s DANCES WITH WOLVES…IN SPACE! technical masterpiece that is AVATAR have become depressed that the data-node world of Pandora doesn’t exist. We were sure this was a joke. Surely this is The Onion catching readers unawares (again). To date, The Onion has not step forward to claim their prize.
We’ve got a few minutes to kill so we’re just gonna run with this anyway.**
A post by a user called Elequin expresses an almost obsessive relationship with the film.
“That’s all I have been doing as of late, searching the Internet for more info about ‘Avatar.’ I guess that helps. It’s so hard I can’t force myself to think that it’s just a movie, and to get over it, that living like the Na’vi will never happen. I think I need a rebound movie,” Elequin posted.
Congratulations, Elequin ,you’re a geek! It appears you’ve avoided this road for many unfulfilled years of your life. But it was meant to be. That nerdy closet door opened to reveal a life-sized poster of Darth Vader pointing at you proclaiming your allegiance to the “Dark Side.” You are now ready to discover the 9.1 metric billion tons of spinning steel, the living biomechanoid starship piloted by a Henson puppet, and, of course, the floating mountains of Pandora.
Be warned. You will be forced to take sides in the neverending battle for your useless-information rich soul.
“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be re-birthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “
You live in the 21st fucking century. There are phones the size of tea cups. There are TVs the size of great danes. You can SMS the entire Internet capable world about your breakfast habits and how you’re never drinking again. You can judge a movie, without ever watching it, and fail small movie studios with time-released snark. Japan is microseconds away from completing our metal and plastic replacements. Your car, that tea cup sized phone, hell even your refrigerator can talk to the Internet, tell it things.
We didn’t want to mention it but the possibilities of Rule 34 increase exponentially every day.
If you’re thinking there’s no place on Earth as beautiful or awe inspiring as the fictional Pandora we ask you to stand up, open your eyes, and look harder.
Other fans have expressed feelings of disgust with the human race and disengagement with reality.
We also find it curious that humanity as portrayed in AVATAR disgusted your fragile, little minds while the exploration of the humans are bastards concepts in DISTRICT 9 drifted right on by. That’s a coffee fueled rant for another time.
*Seeing a CNN writer flex his Onion writing skills is more than a bit disturbing.
**Pretty sure we’ll regret this when it turns out to be a hoax.
(via @sevendaggers, CNN)








