The Warren Ellis/Cully Hammer comic, RED, has been on our minds ever since the trailer dazzled the Internets with Helen Mirren operating automatic weapons with extreme prejudice.

What lay below are very short blurbs from the column pieces that Eliis wrote for MTV Splashpage promoting RED. Clink the column titles to discover the entire articles. And if you enjoy a good laugh.

Day 1: Where It Started: Guest Editor Warren Ellis Explains The Origin Of ‘Red’

There’s an old story that’s been doing the conspiracy-theorist rounds since God was a boy, and it goes like this…

Day 2: Warren Ellis On His ‘Red’ Set Visit: Frozen Hipsters, Throat-Punches, And Carrot Sticks

Cully got to visit the set in warm and wonderful New Orleans. They liked Cully. Cully’s a clever artist what draws the pretty pictures. Me? I got sent to Toronto in the middle of their worst winter in years. They were building shelters for the homeless out of frozen hipsters on Yonge Street…

Day 3: ADAPT THIS: Guest Editor Warren Ellis Reveals The Comic Book Adaptations He’d Like to See!

….”Gone With The Wind” with Jason Statham playing all the roles and nut-punching alien coke-rhinos from beyond space in the laser-scorched plantation fields of Georgia…

Day 4: Warren Ellis’ Most-Anticipated ‘Red’ Scenes: Office Brawls, F-Bombs, And Ernest Borgnine

I like to think that Karl Urban was back at the hotel with a drink, smiling at the very idea of having to spend several hours smashing Bruce Willis into a desk when there was clearly someone else available to do it for him.

Day5: Which Comics To Read After ‘Red’? Warren Ellis Has Some Recommendations!

Would you like some graphic novels that are, like “Red,” all about spies, liars, guns and things exploding? ‘Course you bloody would. Let me give you a few suggestions.

Or you could buy all my books and just pretend they were about spies and sh*t and GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BLOODY COMPUTER I’LL SAY WHAT I BLOODY WELL LIKE NO STOP!!!

He really did offer some good comics that you should read. We just thought that last quote was funny.

The Calm Before the Release: On The Approach Of RED

The RED movie experience has been fun. I got to meet some really interesting, really nice people. I got told great stories. I got to go to some interesting places, and the experience of doing the San Diego con from the VIP side was actually fascinating in a perverse way.

RED starts October 15th people. We swear to all the unholy gods that came before and are yet to be born that if you make JACKASS 3-D the top grossing movie this weekend, we will drive to your houses to kick each and every one of you square in the face.