New Yorkers were dazzled and amazed by a floating bit of shiny in their skies just the other day. They gazed upwards in wonder at what looked to us like a reprise of Balloon Boy. Remember him?

You see this screen cap below? We’re not even going to bother to photoshop a pointer for this.

A retired US Air Force officer prophesied the mysterious objects coming back in September 13.

Mr Fulham stated the extraterrestrials would neither land nor make any communication with Earth on Wednesday.

But their presence would be “the first in a series intended to avert a planetary catastrophe resulting from increasing levels of carbon-dioxide in the earth’s atmosphere dangerously approaching a ‘critical mass’. (…) They are aware from eons of experience with other planets in similar conditions their sudden intervention would cause fear and panic.”

He says their contact with Earth is part of their process of leading mankind into accepting the “alien reality and technologies for the removal of poisonous gases from the earth’s atmosphere in 2015, if not sooner”.

Mr Fulham, we would love for this to be a Spielbergian CLOSE ENCOUNTERS, a Roddenberryesque FIRST CONTACT, or, hell, even an ALF moment. But why would a space-faring civilization be that on-point about humanity cleaning up the atmosphere by 2015? Instead of choosing to “meet our leaders” they buzz Chelsea like a gang of college stoners looking for the only Piggly Wiggly that carries their flavor of cornettos. We won’t even mention that in a town of millions were half the citizens have futurephones or HD cameras, not a damn one of them could get a clear shot of a stationary object in broad daylight.

To say that we are skeptical would be an understatement.

Now look at what happened in China back in July.

There are streaks and flares and general military grade weirdness going on in that photo.

China is outdoing us in UFO encounters. China.

We remember a time when there wasn’t a cow left not butchered, a field left standing tall or a farm hand questioning his sexual determination after that night he once saw “fire in the sky.”

Come on America. We can do this. We can’t let China beat us to the strange-ness.

Let’s call down the mothership together.

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