I watched the murder of Nick Berg this morning.
In the 21st century I can sit here, in the comfort of my own home, and watch people do wicked things to each other.
I know that bad things happen across the world every day. But being able to download these atrocities on my personal PC and watch like some bored Roman citizen, that is another level altogether.
A little over a decade ago, I was in my friends? dorm room doing not much of anything. Someone said they had a tape. This tape was Faces of Death, a collection of freak accidents and man?s inhumanity to man packaged and shipped through the mail for anyone to view.
I honestly don?t remember what I was expecting to get out of viewing this tape but all of the images have stayed with me to this day.
I saw a man whose body was split in two by a New York subway. He was still alive. Officials did not move the train until they could find his wife and they could talk one last time.
I saw a man?s head being crushed by a tank.
I saw a man drawn and quartered.
I watched as a college student bungee jumped from a 12-story building with 13 stories of rope.
I could barely watch as a family prepared a litter of puppies for dinner. That image disturbed me the most. I don?t know why. Then I saw the last clip.
They showed the video a cult made on how to kill a human sacrifice. The horror in that person?s eyes. The pleading for mercy. I never forgot it.
I don?t have the words for what I felt while watching that person die. I don?t have the words for what I saw this morning. I do have questions. Does boasting about this public murder make whatever fucked cause they believe in more valid? If so why were their faces covered? Do they honestly think that the United States as a whole will tremble? Have they not studied the last few decades of world history?
Any intelligent or formidable adversary would.
If the video was supposed to make me fear them, I must be doing something wrong because all I can seem to feel is anger. They killed Nick berg like it was nothing to them. Like he was cattle. That total disregard for human life makes me think of how little they must view themselves.
I am glad I don?t have power of any kind. If I had any power and caught any of those responsible or even remotely involved, well let?s just say they would not like the following weeks of their short lives.
Ponzu told me that my actions would only complete the circle. He?s right. I know he?s right. If I did have any kind of power, I hope I would seek justice rather than vengeance. But it would be damn difficult. I?m not sure I have that kind of even-mindedness.
I had a dark curiosity to see what they did to Nick Berg. I think that somehow I didn?t believe it. No, that?s bullshit. I did believe it. But it didn?t have the same impact, the same reality, as actually seeing it.
I began a search for it last night but it was only half-hearted. When a friend said he?d found it, I asked him to send me the link. I saw what they did and I was angered, horrified, and saddened. I would never post that link here. It doesn?t seem right somehow.
