Groonkly Bits

Here’s a little Public Service Announcement inspired by another round of ER rotations:

Don’t drink and drive kids…if you do, you will probably end up in an accident. Then, large, sweaty firemen will arrive and cut you out of your car (if you’re still alive) and put your neck in a collar that hurts like hell and strap you down to a straight, hard board. Then they’ll cut your clothes off of you to make sure they know about all the injuries you have.

If you’ve been really injured, you’ll get 2 large-bore IVs in each arm…otherwise, you’ll get by with just one (you better hope you have easy veins, too, because they’ll stick you till they hit one). Once you get to the hospital, you’ll be lying on a bed, naked, in front of about 12 people – still with your neck in a collar and lying on a hard board. One doctor will stick two large needles into your groin – yes, groin – to draw blood from an artery and vein. At some point, they’ll turn you on your side and a doctor will put his or her lubricated finger up your ass – yes, a finger up your ass, whether your ass was involved or not. After that, you may or may not get a Foley catheter. That involves lubing up a tube and pushing it up your penis or vagina (depending upon your plumbing) until it gets into your bladder. Luckily for you, you probably won’t get to see the tube because if you did, you’d swear there was no way something that large was going to go up a hole that small. And don’t think for a moment you get any sedation for this – there isn’t time for all that.

So remember kids – each time you drink and drive, there’s the chance of a DUI conviction and killing people and losing your license…and a big ‘ol finger up your ass. And of you DO manage to wreck and don’t get the DUI or kill someone or lose your license…you’re still getting the finger.

-MedicMike

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Hospitals should hire me to keep bad things from happening ? I worked 3:00 ? 11:00 PM in the ER and nothing of any consequence came through. I got to hear all about the student that was there the night BEFORE me and how he got to do CPR on a patient who later died. I saw the usual boring cases.

I got to see a bit of social commentary though. One patient that came in had been doing cocaine earlier that day and his daughter wanted to come back so she could see that he was ok. Later on, the police came for him for charges related to something else. A druggie with a criminal record and young daughter ? that?s just splendid.

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Medic Mike says to celebrate accordingly.

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First day in the ER?practically, I?m not able to do much ? hook people up to the 3-lead EKG, pulse-ox, BP, and take their temperature. Unless someone needs CPR, O2, or direct pressure to stop bleeding ? I pretty much change linens and take patients to X-ray and CT scan. That?s about the extent of what I can do.

But what I saw?thus far, in 32 hours of being in real world EMS situations, I?ve seen one trauma victim: a 7 year old kid who cut his knee right down the center. The wound was so deep, you could see the patella. I watched the doc sew it up after injecting it with lidocaine.

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Second ? and last ? ambulance rotations yesterday. Had two calls ? an epileptic seizure (over by the time we got there) and a call over to the police station to check a diabetic inmate?s blood sugar.

The seizure patient ? according to a coworker ? had an implant in his chest. Apparently, when he felt a seizure coming on, he would place a magnet (about the size of a large block pencil eraser) over this implant and it would somehow control the seizure activity. None of the paramedics or EMTs had heard of that before. When we got there, he had been laid on his side and had no trauma. He was breathing but unresponsive. After a little while of being there, he came around and was alert but disoriented. The longer we sat there, the more oriented he became ? all in all, just like the book said it would be. I took his blood pressure, but that was about it.

An extremely frustrating part of the day was checking the blood pressure of an older woman that walked in to have it taken for a later doctor?s visit. I got something in the 120?s over 80-something. The EMT got 150-something over 74 ? much more in line with what you?d expect. I didn?t hear anything before the 120?s, although I saw the needle jumping long before that. I don?t know how I missed it by that much, but it?s frustrating as hell, especially when she was sitting there, still, in a completely quiet room. That?s maddening.

A woman also walked in complaining of chest pain she had been having for 2 days. I think they took her blood pressure but that?s about all that can be done. Told her to go see her doctor because we can?t treat that kind of thing. It?s amazing what some people will do

Aside from that ? there were no other calls. I?m going to try to do some ride-alongs with my instructor?s company, just to get some experience with people. I don?t even care if they aren?t in dire need of medical help ? I just need to get used to being around people and having the confidence necessary of the authority they assume someone in the position of ?paramedic? has. I want to work on the whole ?curbside manner? thing, as I?ve rarely had a job that required me to interact with people, especially in such an important way.
-MedicMike

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Yesterday I opened up a new feature on GDN Main. The Medic Mike Journals. Who exactly is Medic Mike? I’ll tell you.

Medic Mike is an engineer. A writer. A philosopher. An observer. He can design planes or bombs or displays that entice you to buy more Whatsitz™. These days he’s training to save your life. He wants to make a difference in the world. Medic Mike is my friend.

So I decided to give him a forum where he can share what he’s seen and learned. Thus the Medic Mike Journals were born.

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Ran first calls in an ambulance yesterday with the Fire Department…first time I’d been in an ambulance, in fact. In a 12 hour shift, we had 2 calls – almost three.

Call 1 – medical – 68 YOF who had been pulled over for erratic driving…she complained of double vision and we transported her to the hospital. This was my first call, so I just stood back and watched. The medic hooked her up to the EKG, but that was the most interesting thing about the call. Put her on a nasal cannula as well, although she indicated no difficulty breathing.

Call 2 – medical – 67 YOF who complained of dizziness and weakness at the Western Supermarket not too far from the house. The medic started a line and hooked her up to the EKG before leaving. Her heart was racing and after dropping her off at the ER, their EKG showed an even more erratic heartbeat. There wasn’t much for me to do on that call either, as the focus was on more advanced things than what little I know.

Call 3 – medical – started out as an unknown medical call…by the time we got in the truck, dispatch contacted us and said there had been a call-back. A man had fallen in a residential yard but the caller said he must have got up and walked off since he wasn’t there anymore. After a minute in the truck, the medic called to state “Rescue 4 back at base” – we never left.

So, my first taste of EMS wasn’t real exciting, but it was fun. The second call stands out the most.

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