You gotta love it when hard science investigates geek conversations to their logical ends. Months ago @joshmull shared an I09 article wherein physicists prove vampires couldn’t exist. It was an entertaining thought. We kept it in drafts until the day was right to expose the dark conspiracy. Then the day came when BBC News informs Canadian scientists have pondered the realities of the “zombie apocalypse.” That’s when it was certain the noted draft had become a publishable thing.

Physicists Prove That Vampires Could Not Exist
Physicists Costas Efthimiou and Sohang Gandhi’s paper “Cinema Fiction vs. Physics Reality” offers a full explanation.

Efthimiou and Gandhi conduct a thought experiment: Assume that the first vampire appeared on January 1, 1600. At that time, according to data available at the U.S. Census website, the global population was 536,870,911. Efthimiou and Gandhi calculate that, once the Nosferatu feeding frenzy began, the entire human race would have been wiped out by June 1602 …

If you like this sort of thoughtless, thought experimentation(as we do) you’ll get a kick out of the entire article.

Then, as there always must be these days, there were zombies.

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