Here at GNET, we are loathe to share in the delusion that every February 14th is a day of love, pink cards, and anatomically incorrect heart patterns. We also reserve a deep seated hatred for TV shows and commercials reinforcing this belief each and every year. 30 ROCK remains immune to our poisonous barbs (Love you, Liz Lemon!). Our beliefs, however, reside in a more primal origin.

Are our opinions sadly emo or tragically forward thinking? We’ll let you decide. In the meantime, enjoy these non-traditional cards. From our dried-out, walnut sized blood pump to yours.

Many other glorious Deadwood Valentines are here.

Non-Deadwood wishes continue below the cut.

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