By dropping those 2 special words “the Movie” we thereby specify that this ANTICHRIST is a movie by Lars von Trier and not some kind of reality TV show spliced into long form in order to enhance its evil potency.

We watched the trailer and still have no idea what in hell is going on. The title suggests that “Hell” is exactly what will be going on but all that’s seen is Willem Dafoe getting the bone a lady(Charlotte Gainsbourg) well outside his dating age-range in the roots of a giant tree that feeds on disembodied human limbs.

The “nature is Satan’s church” line makes even less sense. Please tell us you’re not basing your evidence on Shyamalan’s “the plants and trees want to kill us” movie.

Unwilling to let a silly movie trailer or odd dialogue break our natural deconstructing nature, we turn to the film’s plot summary for answers:

A grieving couple retreat to ’Eden’, their isolated cabin in the woods, where they hope to repair their broken hearts and troubled marriage. But nature takes its course and things go from bad to worse…

Okaaaaayyyy….

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