Posts Tagged things you should know

A BP Minute: “Are you f–king happy? Are you f**king happy? The rig’s on fire!”

Quote of the year.

A few clicks later and we tracked down a nice link citation.

The sailor, who Buzbee refuses to name for fear of costing him his job, was on the ship’s bridge when Deepwater Horizon installation manager Jimmy Harrell, a top employee of rig owner Transocean, was speaking with someone in Houston via satellite phone. Buzbee told Mother Jones that, according to this witness account, Harrell was screaming, “Are you fucking happy? Are you fucking happy? The rig’s on fire! I told you this was gonna happen.”

Whoever was on the other end of the line was apparently trying to calm Harrell down. “I am fucking calm,” he went on, according to Buzbee. “You realize the rig is burning?”

At that point, the boat’s captain asked Harrell to leave the bridge. It wasn’t clear whether Harrell had been talking to Transocean, BP, or someone else.

via nick holmes, mother jones, newsweek

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Late Tuesday Tease: BATMAN XXX: A PORN PARODY, No Expense was Spared

It’s long past bedtime for the little ones in our time zone. Adults, feast your eyes on this:

That’s right. Your favorite porn stars gathered together, threw on masks, and stretch their dialogue speaking skills to the limit to bring you cheesy superhero parody porn. The Power Perversion Potential could go off the charts.

The oddly SFW trailer lay below the utility belt.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Things You Should Know: A Drunkards Guide to an Ad Hoc New Year’s Eve Celebration

What we’ve done here, for your pleasure, is assemble the best video tutorials for opening spirits in unconventional ways that we could find. There’s the champagne tutorials for the traditonalists. The wine instructional for the elitists. And the beer guides for those, like us, who enjoy the simpler pleasures.

Did we forget to mention that each video opens your bottle of choice without the aid of new fangled corkscrews or bottle openers?

Silly us.

Opening Wine without a Corkscrew
The first of two vids feature our new favorite frenchman in all the world(sorry Jean Reno) opening a wine bottle with nothing but a shoe and some guy using a tree to the same end. His method is not as spectacular as the first but useful for those living in the sticks or next to national or urban parks.

Opening Beer with a Lighter or Piece of Paper
Smokers will rejoice at the thought. Any serious writer should know that the pen may be mightier than the sword but a piece of paper will allow you to drink forever.

Opening Champagne
Lastly, open that bottle of bubbly with nothing but the glass at your table or that sword you mysteriously carry in the folds of that long overcoat.

There can be only one.

The Next Day(Sorry, no vids for this)
After all that opening and drinking is done you might want to cure what’ll be ailing ya in the bright morning light. Your choice of hangover cures range from the bizarre to those with rockstar flavor.

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