(Thanks to Ivan for the bird of prey photo)

By now you know the story of the bread, the bird and the Large Hadron Collider.

The bird dropped some bread on a section of outdoor machinery, eventually leading to significant over heating in parts of the accelerator. The LHC was not operational at the time of the incident, but the spike produced so much heat that had the beam been on, automatic failsafes would have shut down the machine.

What you may have missed is The Future Sabotage of the LHC theory where it is proposed that the Higgs Boson does not want to be found.

And long before that the Super-Fear of Hadron Super Collider, Silly, Won’t Die wherein some worry that daring to turn on the LHC will doom this Earth to being a Black Hole’s dinner.

From these meager scraps of super science-y notions we’ve managed to piece together the grander scheme. Here, faithful reader, is the rest of the story*:
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