Fast Company shared, on Tuesday, the latest BP effort to save their name.

Among the various PR efforts that BP is engaged in, they’ve apparently sent out a “reporter” to file missives about the company’s efforts to stem the Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill.

And what “Paula Kolmar” is writing tips well over the line of self-parody, into some kind of bizarro world where bullshit smells like puppies and champagne–and where cleaning up the oil spill while being slathered in tar balls and oil fumes is a bit like being embraced by Fabio in a grocery-store romance novel.

Get BP’s bullshit straight from the source, if you like.

We thought the words of BP Reporter “Paula Kolmar” fit perfectly with images from the Gulf Shore. So we spun-up the old Photoshop and threw together 3 macros for the occasion.

A couple more under the jump.
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