Over the weekend, Questionable Content‘s Jeph Jacques did a wonderful tweetspammy thing. He created a list of band similes. That is if the bands in his iTunes, or wherever, were walking around and being horrible/wonderful to you.:
Below lay 15 of our favorites/bands we’ve heard and agree with the definition.
• Dragonforce is the guy/girl in theater who thinks they’re hot shit and all the nerds fawn over them while normal people can’t stand them
• Muse gave you a mediocre handjob and then shat the bed
• Disturbed is a dog giving itself a blowjob
• Hum is your high school sweetheart who left you in college and then died in a car accident and you still miss her
• AC/DC is a schoolbus driver
• The Decemberists are that group of drama kids who never talk to anyone outside their clique and have tons of inside jokes you don’t get
• LED ZEPPELIN IS YOUR IMMORTAL STONER GRANDPA
• Sigur Ros is that exchange student you thought might have had a crush on you but would just blush and run away if you tried to talk to her.
• nickelback is the guy who tried to pass off his genital warts as a “body modification, it’s all the rage in, like, europe right now”
• DAFT PUNK IS THE ORGASM THAT KILLS YOU
• Weezer is your best friend from high school who you lost touch with in college, and when you finally bump into him again after graduation he has somehow become a total fucking douchebag.
• Radiohead is the girl who was absolutely stunning back in college and you pretend you don’t still have a crush on her but every time she comes in to starbucks your heart skips a beat.
• Mogwai is your best friend’s girlfriend who frankly has put on quite a few pounds in the past couple years but they’re happy so who are you to judge.
• Portishead spent hours in the bathroom, carving intricate spirals into her thighs and forearms with a razor blade. Years after you broke up, you run into her at a party. She is entirely covered in scar-tissue swirls, and radiant.
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs are the girl all your friends think is AMAZING she is just so BRILLIANT and FIERCE and INTELLIGENT but as far as you can tell she’s just a boring twat with a goofy haircut.
For all of them visit Jeph Jacques’ LJ:
