Charlie Sheen has done his best to capture all the attention from the true world changing events of late. We did our best to ignore his noise. And our avoidance success rate was pretty high until some Internet engineer drew up this single serving site: http://www.livethesheendream.com/
A few choice Twitter snarks and a LATimes Charlie Sheen Dictionary post later and we were wrapped up in the uninspired downward cycle of yet another celebrity falling, falling, falling to the ground where the rest of us morlocks have to live every day. And what a delicious feast the MaSheen is providing our recession-addled brains.
Quickly, check out the rest of what we lazily gathered on The Warlock’s relapse of drug-fueled inanity below the cut before the MaSheen returns to irrelevancy.
@Tamarlovesu suggested an angle that only time will tell if it’s true.
@Richl1‘s explanation should be cut into a movie using existing footage of his current tirade. We’re turning to you for this, Internet.
@Steppinlazer sussed out a new front for more thoughts from The Wedge(see: @charliesheen) We were sure as pigeons that this was a joke account. We were sure until the verified seal popped up next to his name.
The following excerpts are from LA Times effort to create a Charlie Sheen-to-English dictionary.
Charlie Sheen
Definition: The name of whatever Sheen’s on.
Usage: “I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”
Winning
Definition: The end goal of Charlie Sheen’s life philosophy.
Usage: “The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning,†“Just winning every second,†“Winning, anyone?†“Duh, winning!â€
Pronunciation: Quoth Sheen, “It rhymes with winning.â€
Tiger blood
Definition: What runs through Sheen’s veins, making him all-powerful.
Usage: “AA was written for normal people. People that don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA,†“[I survived drug addiction] because I’m me. I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.â€
Boom
Definition: An exclamation used to signify the end of a mind-blowing statement.
Usage: “You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me. Boom. That’s the whole movie. That’s life.†“[My ex-wife Denise Richards] shows up looking the way she does. … Wow! Everybody’s winning. Boom!†“White gold? Boom!†(Synonyms: Bang.)
Bringing up the rear of this hit parade are New Yorker cartoons enhanced by the words of Sheen. And by “enhanced” we mean “made funny.” Run to Buzzfeed for the rest of this iceberg.
via latimes, buzzfeed, and the Great and Powerful Twitter. Pay no attention to those men behind the servers.
