Robot Envy Apocalypse: They Think We’re bacon. Run! Hide! Run, Run, Run!


Strange memes occur in net-space. Time either does a quickstep or slowly waltzes around the dance floor. Old news resurfaces and becomes like a new thing. It’s shiny and tantalizing and, some times, terrifying. This bit of news via @m1k3y via @RichardKadrey via @weirdnews(see how this works now?) from a 2006 Wired article is practically vintage in Intertube time. It informs that to certain robots we taste like bacon. The “we” in question this time, gentle reader, is “HUMANS!”

JAPAN THE WINEBOT“All foods have a unique fingerprint,” Shimazu said. “The robot uses that data to identify what it is inspecting right there on the spot.”

When it has identified a wine, the robot speaks up in a childlike voice. It names the brand and adds a comment or two on the taste, such as whether it is a buttery chardonnay or a full-bodied shiraz, and what kind of foods might go well on the side.

[…]

Some of the mistakes it makes would get a human sommelier fired — or worse.
When a reporter’s hand was placed against the robot’s taste sensor, it was identified as prosciutto. A cameraman was mistaken for bacon.

This is a dangerous thing, people. When they know bacon can be had daily and easily, it’s all over for us. Who wouldn’t enslave us all for the mighty taste of morning repast? That would be like turning down sex on a Sunday morning: unnatural.

Just ask Joe Pig on a farm. The ones that’s survived the Hamthrax slaughter, we mean.

(via @m13ky, Wired, southcoasttoday)

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