Laura Kightlinger was on the old Comedy Central show ?Dr Katz, Professional Therapist.? Her first ?session? has been stuck on loop in my head the past 24 hours.
It begins with the simple question, ?Have you ever noticed that you run into old friends who are at the top of their game just when you are at your lowest?? She continues with an anecdote of her running into some guy who wrote a movie, sold said movie, and ended up directing the thing to boot.
When he got around to asking her what?s going on in her life, they cut to an image of her standing on the street in a full body cast, her fingers, mouth and little eyes being the only thing visible.
She answers, ?Well, I was just fired from my job so now I?m on my way to McDonald?s to apply for double shifts. But my therapist says I?m doing better after the accident, I should be able to fully grasp and release the ball by next week.?
That is currently my life.
I drown in other people?s bliss while my shit continues to desiccate and fall to pieces in front of my eyes.
Don?t get me wrong, I?m happy that they?re happy. They?ve all had their own noise to quiet. All of their cheer is hitting me during one of my cycles selfish thoughts.
?When do I get to have good shit happen to me?? I think.
Schadenfreude is a word that defines, ?happiness at the misfortune of others.? Is there a word that says, ?I?m happy that you?re happy but goddamn when can I catch a break for myself??
There should be.
I realize that said folks might read my noise on this blog but I?m leaning towards not giving a damn. A blog is nothing but the epitome of selfish thoughts. Expressing those thoughts are the only way I?m gonna get this poison out of my system.
So all politeness will be damned today.
