Ellis does his own reviews of the upcoming US TV pilot season:
I’ve seen a few more screener-copies of US TV pilots for the new season, by the way.
THE LYON’S DEN: Rob Lowe’s next big job after leaving THE WEST WING. Possibly also the last. Rip Torn phones it in, Robert Picardo appears to still have some kind of spreader bar in his mouth, and John Grisham is checking his trashcan for burglary. The only one who’s having fun is Frances Fisher, gnawing on the scenery and vamping up a storm as the Scheming Secretary. Give her the series, because you know what? I couldn’t give a fuck if a bunch of bickering smarmy lawyers live, die, or have to suck off old corpses…
THREAT MATRIX: also known as THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY LOVES YOU. A deeply dodgy piece of work full of plotlines like My God, The Towelheads Are Using Plastic Surgery To Look Just Like Us Good White Folks, and The White Terrorist Agrees To Cooperate But Is Killed In Collusion With The Slanty-Eyed Locals. You get the idea.
LAS VEGAS: I’m sorry to say I switched it off after ten minutes. It’s possible that it got supernaturally good after ten minutes of grabbing up every cliche it could lay its hands, managing to be shameless yet humourless about the absurd expository dialogue, and totally wasting James Caan. But I’ll never know.
And something else: if you’re doing a show about young hipsters trying to rip off Vegas casinos every week, but they have to be stopped by aged James Caan and his trusty men every week, that’s not OCEAN’S ELEVEN for TV, no matter how you dress it up. It’s fucking MATLOCK.
