May 25th, 2007
30 Years Ago: Younglings' Minds Worldwide were Irrepairably Damaged
When George Lucas was young and (at that time)infallibly brilliant, the world held its breath and believed in the whiny, water farmboy who could.
Now we have Stormtrooper Elvis.
I honestly don’t know how to feel about that.
May 25th, 2007
Towel Day: For those Who Still Can't get the Hang of Thursdays
What does one do on Towel Day? Well that’s simple as cake: “Carry your towel with you throughout the day to show your participation and mourning.”
Who exactly are we mourning? Well that would be master Hitchhiker, Douglas Adams. He wrote that tell all guide you know. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
—quote from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
To paraphrase, a man, or woman, in posession of their very own towel is a man, or woman, who has their shit together.
To all those prudes who are embarassed or can’t be bothered with toiletries on such an auspicious day well:
Yes, you should really carry a towel with you all day. You might get teased or looked at weird, but then you can just hide
behind your towel until the offensive people go away.
And donate some money to Douglas Adams’ favorite charities while you’re at it.
The Gorilla Foundation or Save the Rhino International
April 19th, 2007
HOTW: National High Five Day
They have a soundtrack.
A history.
A webpage.
A friendly place with a freaky-ass avatar.
They got me rollin’…rollin’….rollin’ on a river.
Don’t leave them hangin‘.
February 14th, 2007
My World is Worthless. NEXTWAVE is No More. :(
Also it’s Death of NEXTWAVE Day:
For as long as you live. Whether you know what I’m talking about or not. Something will always be missing from your heart, and that constant incompleteness will drain the joy from every single moment of your existence until you lay on your death bed, listening to your pulse stutter and stop, knowing that somehow, someway… you failed at life.
Knowing that nothing in the world had been right since Death Of NEXTWAVE Day.
Warren Ellis, BAD SIGNAL 02-14-2007
NEXTWAVE was love. Now nothing means anything anymore. Excuse me while I crawl into my fetal corner and gently weep tears of skunky beer.
Damn you, NEXTWAVE! How can you do this to me!?
What am I saying? I deny your denial. My heart will forever carry your thoughts of me in that pathetically stalker kind of way. You better shut your blinds, NEXTWAVE, cause I’m outside looking in with a pair of binoculars,a rubber hose and a can of pepper spray.
I love you, NEXTWAVE.
I hate you.
February 14th, 2007
Happy Horny Werewolf Day!
I’ve no idea of the truth behind this but:
Always remember: Valentine’s Day is a Christian corruption of a pagan festival involving werewolves, blood and fucking. So wish people a happy Horny Werewolf Day and see what happens.
Warren Ellis, BAD SIGNAL 02-14-2007
Werewolves are not known for their couth
December 23rd, 2006
May there be Happy Fun Toys for Everyone
“It’s the Happy Fun Toy!”
Victoria was very excited by it. She pressed a button and the HFT sang its special song. It danced a jittery dance, too. She was so captivated by th HFT that all her troubles seemed to melt away.
She said she borrowed(see stole) it from a nephew of hers. She was ashamed yet seemed to be dealing with her larceny quite well. It was another night at Philby’s . The Guinness flowed like rain and Mike shared the stage with the HFT. Just another Tuesday night in Huntsvillle.
We all need Happy Fun Toys in our lives, I think. It’s time for me to run off for a couple days. May that jolly fat man sneak into your house and place many fine things under your indoor shrubbery.
December 15th, 2006
A Very Special Rocketboomas
Rocketboom grants groonk.net(and several other loser blogs) a very special Christmas gift. Utilizing their wiki skills, they’re letting anyone who has a website to post their link on the Rocketboom main site. It looks like I got the groonk name in about mid page on a Thursday.
And with a lazy click or two, my minute of internet-fame is secured.
