Groonkly Bit

It’s been a while since there’s been a Bit worth posting. It was worth the wait. The following from Patton Oswalt’s speech to his old high school last June.

And then this banker – clean-shaven, grey suit and vest – you’d never look twice at him on the street – he told me about The Five Environments.

He leans forward, near the end of the dinner, and he says to me, “There are Five Environments you can live in on this planet. There’s The City. The Desert. The Mountains. The Plains. And The Beach.

You can live in combinations of them. Maybe a city in the desert, or in the mountains by the ocean. Or you could choose just one. Out in the plains somewhere, perhaps.

“But you need to get out there and travel, and figure out where you thrive.

“Some places you’ll go to and you’ll feel yourself wither. Your brain will fog up, your body won’t respond to your thoughts and desires, and you’ll feel sad and angry.

You need to find out which of the Five Environments are yours. If you belong by the ocean, then the mountains will ruin you. If you’re suited for the blue solitude of the plains, then the city will be a tight, roaring prison cell that’ll eat you alive.

Read the whole of it on Oswalt’s site.

You won’t be sorry.


  • Yeah, that was the speech he gave to my old rival high school, Broad Run, this year. He's from the same town where I spent my teens in Northern Virginia.

    My old high school had some twit that graduated three years ago and got onto Nashville Star or something. I'd say Broad Run won this one.
  • holy damn. it really is a small world. which twit was he? i never watch that show.

    wait.. you can tell me next time i see you at West End.
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