{"id":736,"date":"2005-02-12T15:15:54","date_gmt":"2005-02-12T15:15:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/groonk.net\/bits\/?p=736"},"modified":"2005-02-12T15:15:54","modified_gmt":"2005-02-12T15:15:54","slug":"substituions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/?p=736","title":{"rendered":"Substituions"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Friends I haven?t talked to in forever ask me questions like, ?so what have you been up to??. Lately, I?ve taken to making up the answers when nothing new has happened.  This means I?m making up shit all the damn time.  Here are some of the new ones:<\/p>\n<p>Mid January I discovered the cure for cancer but lost it in a full contact game of no holds barred solitaire to a strange little German man sporting an odd moustache.  He said he knew, &#8216;exactly what to do with this&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p>This month I&#8217;m working on zero point energy to power my robot monkey lieutenant.  Feeding him beer every day is getting expensive.  He only drinks Murphy?s.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe I&#8217;m being an asshole but I&#8217;d rather be that than have to say, &#8216;nothing,&#8217; all the time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Friends I haven?t talked to in forever ask me questions like, ?so what have you been up to??. Lately, I?ve taken to making up the answers when nothing new has happened. This means I?m making up shit all the damn time. Here are some of the new ones: Mid January I discovered the cure for [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-736","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-too-many-thoughts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/736","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=736"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/736\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=736"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=736"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=736"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}