{"id":1169,"date":"2007-12-13T00:21:16","date_gmt":"2007-12-13T00:21:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/groonk.net\/bits\/?p=1169"},"modified":"2007-12-13T00:21:16","modified_gmt":"2007-12-13T00:21:16","slug":"hotw-21st-century-jet-packs-are-here-can-you-say-win","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/?p=1169","title":{"rendered":"HOTW: 21st Century Jet Packs are Here! Can You Say WIN?!"},"content":{"rendered":"<div align=\"center\"><object width=\"425\" height=\"355\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/THEcWrznicY&#038;rel=1&#038;border=0\"><\/param><param name=\"wmode\" value=\"transparent\"><\/param><embed src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/THEcWrznicY&#038;rel=1&#038;border=0\" type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\" wmode=\"transparent\" width=\"425\" height=\"355\"><\/embed><\/object> <\/div>\n<p>It is said that it will <a href=\"http:\/\/www.geekologie.com\/2007\/12\/omg_omg_i_need_a_freaking_jet.php\">fly 27 miles without refueling<\/a>. It has a flight time of 9 minutes.  They say it&#8217;s a wee bit safer than previous models.  There is a possible max speed of 83 mph.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve decided, nay, I know the <a href=\"http:\/\/jetpackinternational.com\/equip.html\">Jet Pack T-73 <\/a>is the gift for me.  Reach deep in your pockets, children. The $200K price tag includes training.  A bargain like that <a href=\"http:\/\/jetpackinternational.com\/\">can&#8217;t last long<\/a>!  And when you buy it for me, I&#8217;ll be the first blogger beaming you posts from 250 feet in the air.<\/p>\n<p>Give until everything bleeds, damnit. I want my Christmas to mean something this year.<\/p>\n<p>*The vid is not of the Jet pack in question. That video is one of the earlier models. You can give me that too, while you&#8217;re being so generous. Once received, the Groonkly God will smile down on you with warm, loving joy and resist the urge to poop on your head.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It is said that it will fly 27 miles without refueling. It has a flight time of 9 minutes. They say it&#8217;s a wee bit safer than previous models. There is a possible max speed of 83 mph. I&#8217;ve decided, nay, I know the Jet Pack T-73 is the gift for me. Reach deep in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hero-of-the-week"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1169","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1169"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1169\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}