{"id":1162,"date":"2007-11-20T13:17:19","date_gmt":"2007-11-20T13:17:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/groonk.net\/bits\/?p=1162"},"modified":"2007-11-20T13:17:19","modified_gmt":"2007-11-20T13:17:19","slug":"votw-amazons-new-kindle-e-reader-hideous-clunky-overpriced","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/?p=1162","title":{"rendered":"VOTW: Amazon's New Kindle E-Reader Hideous, Clunky, Overpriced"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"bricksnkindle.gif\" <\/div>\n

Amazon’s new e-book reader thing, formally named the Kindle snuck up on me<\/a>. It’s a bit early in the week to be pointing out Black Hats. Technically it hasn’t done anything to me personally to be considered ill-tempered, but as I’m about to be net-blind, thanks to embarassing amounts of turkey being shoved down my gullet, I’m willing to split a hair or two. In the meantime, let’s keep this brief.<\/p>\n

TO:<\/strong> Amazon R & D
\nFROM:<\/strong> Consumer Groonk
\nRE: <\/strong>Hideous Clunky Overpriced Thing (Kindle)<\/p>\n

Let’s address this by issue:<\/p>\n

1) Kindle is ugly. The Future is many things my friends, but it should not be ugly. It should be sleek and contoured. It should have a color screen. It must be sexy. When I look at it, I should want to have sex with it on sight. (Not saying that I would have sex with it. I’m just saying I should *want* to have sex with it. Use the iPhone as a reference.)<\/p>\n

2) Kindle is big. Before I appreciate the technologies of e-paper, it must be able to slip inside an encyclopedia and go unnoticed. It should also be able to hold the unabridged Oxford English Dicitonary <\/a>on it’s wafer-thin harddrive. In my pocket I currently have my phone, iPod*, wallet, camera, keys and money. I can’t be bothered with trying to shove a Kindle in there too.<\/p>\n

3) Kindle is not worth $399. For that money I could get an iPhone that will, mark my words, be able to do the same damn thing the Kindle can in a few generations. I’m thinking the 3rd or 4th generation iPhone will be more than capable of doubling…tripling…fourthling(?) as an e-reader.<\/p>\n

Sidenote: Don’t even get me started on your video share feature on Kindle’s sell-page not involving some kind of embed device. When videos are offered for sharing, I’m expecting actual sharing. Not some random link where I’m duped to enter a friend’s email and you get one more corporate spam victim.<\/p>\n

I guess I was wrong. You are a villain<\/strong> after all.<\/p>\n

*Yes, most of these things could be dropped from the list of pocket renters but not today. Please refer back to number 3 on the list.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Amazon’s new e-book reader thing, formally named the Kindle snuck up on me. It’s a bit early in the week to be pointing out Black Hats. Technically it hasn’t done anything to me personally to be considered ill-tempered, but as I’m about to be net-blind, thanks to embarassing amounts of turkey being shoved down my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1162","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-villain-of-the-week"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1162","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1162"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1162\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1162"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1162"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1162"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}