{"id":1045,"date":"2007-01-11T07:01:27","date_gmt":"2007-01-11T07:01:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/groonk.net\/bits\/?p=1045"},"modified":"2007-01-11T07:01:27","modified_gmt":"2007-01-11T07:01:27","slug":"herovillain-of-the-this-week-apple-iphone-seriously-fucks-over-my-schedule","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/?p=1045","title":{"rendered":"Hero\/Villain of the this Week: Apple iPhone Seriously Fucks over My Schedule"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"appleiphone.jpg\"<\/a> <\/div>\n

I was crass and skeptical. I convinced myself the iPhone <\/a>wouldn’t be worth my time. Partly because I’m not incredibly attracted to having a multi-tasking super futurephone<\/a>. Mostly because I knew my wallet would suffer from Apple’s ingenuity. I refused to believe The Cool(tm).<\/p>\n

But I just had to visit Apple’s damn site<\/a> and scope their shit out.<\/p>\n

Damn my curiosity. Damn its eyes straight to hell. I love and hate this thing so much that it’s pulling double duty as both hero and villain. The hero part is obvious. The villain threatens my bank account, my newly professional posting schedule and my very sanity<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Now that I’ve seen it and all the insanely convincing demos(special love to the phone demo<\/a> for that last hard sell), sweet merciful gods, I want one. All I can do is plot on getting one.<\/p>\n

I want one.<\/p>\n

I want one.
\nI want one.
\nI want one.
\nI want one.
\nI must have one
\nI might kick puppies to get one.
\nI would definitely kick you to own one.<\/p>\n

Go forth, kids, and obey my commands. Bring me an iPhone<\/a> and your rewards<\/a> will range far beyond handsome<\/a>. Your spoils will be sexy futhermuckers<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The digital, semi-benevolent, dictators for life, Masters, await your patronage on my behalf.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was crass and skeptical. I convinced myself the iPhone wouldn’t be worth my time. Partly because I’m not incredibly attracted to having a multi-tasking super futurephone. Mostly because I knew my wallet would suffer from Apple’s ingenuity. I refused to believe The Cool(tm). But I just had to visit Apple’s damn site and scope […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hero-of-the-week","category-villain-of-the-week"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1045","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1045"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1045\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1045"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1045"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.groonk.net\/bits\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1045"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}