April 02, 2008
Bacon Chocolate Makes Me Barf, Curious
It should not exist yet here I sit, looking at it. Mo's Bacon Bar. It's candy. Horrible pig flavored, chocolate candy.
Oh, and Diesel Sweeties RStevens is having a chat fest this week on Whitechapel. Go talk to him.
Show him some bacon-porn.
(via whitechapel's rstevens chat-out)
Posted by Groonk at 08:11 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Comics, Intertube Madness, Weird
March 11, 2008
Gnome terrorizes South American Town. Makes Me Piss Myself with Laughter.
Weird day today. This was too hilarious not to share.
The Sun (yeah, I know) claims a town in South America is being plagued by a gnome(yeah, *I know*) and they have video. You must watch the video.
Those kids obviously did not read Harry Potter. The Weasely's knew exactly how to treat a gnome infesting their garden.
(more stupidity via The Sun)
Posted by Groonk at 04:38 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Myth, Weird
February 22, 2008
Redstone Arsenal Rocket Goes Bada Boom, Scares 5 Counties
Something blew the fuck up late last night. I mistook it for thunder or my lead-footed upstairs neighbor. It seems, I was wrong on both counts.
Around 11 p.m. a loud boom was reported in southeast Huntsville, east Limestone, Morgan and Marshall counties.
Across 5 counties this was heard. I heard and *felt* it. Rattled the building, it did. If you follow the link you see that the typical Huntsville geek, named Opticron, has taken it upon himself to be Super Geektastic (not in a good way) and track the latitude and longitude of the origin.
Who is the bigger geek, him for tracking or me for bothering to Google Map it, I'll let you decide. I just want to know what blew the hell up. (Looking at you, Redstone Arsenal.)
(via me)
EDIT: The reigning theory is a sonic boom from an aircraft. I'm cool with that, although I've no idea why you would test aircraft here. I wasn't even sure military jets bothered to land here. It's mostly helicopters and rockets round these parts.
UPDATE: And so the Arsenal admits to blowing up half a million dollar rocket late into the night.
Around 11 p.m. a loud boom was reported in southeast Huntsville, Limestone, Morgan, Marshall, Lawrence and DeKalb counties.The slow cook-off test involves placing a rocket engine in a stove-like piece of equipment and heating it until the engine blows. Normally the tests are scheduled to explode in the afternoons, but this one ran later - much later.
The low clouds helped carry the sound to at least five surrounding counties.
Before the Arsenal released a statement, The Andalusia Star News had speculations.
Posted by Groonk at 08:38 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Alabama, Google-fied, Weird
February 08, 2008
BLIND CLICK 23: Hello, Friday
(via digg)
Posted by Groonk at 02:09 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Blind Click, Culture, Video, Weird
January 22, 2008
The SPs are Organized
Somebody has declared war on Scientology. The video won't survive on You Tube long and that's for sure.
Aside from being a little creeped out, I am intrigued. Ellis points out it's some internet strike group called Anonymous. Noted here.
EDIT: A glossary for crazy can easily be read and laughed at.
(via warrenellis)
UPDATE: Anonymous is clearly organized and won't be "taken to school".
Posted by Groonk at 08:40 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Intertube Madness, Research, Video, Weird
December 21, 2007
Man Finds Future Self Under Sink. Feels Really Good About It.
"Quite simply, I met myself there in the future and had a great time."
And managed not to ask himself how old he was or what date it is..er,was...er, will be. Also, he managed not to tell how he got back or to vid the surrounding area. But he did video himself with his future self.
Color me non-believing but intrigued by the video. For some reason, I feel I've seen this video before.
I'm not even trying to set up a joke there.
Well, maybe just a little.
UPDATE: Being curious I searched and found this thing is old. I guess I was too busy with my present to be bothered with his future at that time.
(via digg,5min life videopedia )
Posted by Groonk at 07:08 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Research, Timey Wimey, Video, Weird
December 12, 2007
BLIND CLICK 19: Because you forgot
That hurt me so much that I am compelled to hurt others, too.
That's the human way.
(via last year)
Posted by Groonk at 11:00 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Holiday, Intertube Madness, Marketing, Movies, Weird
September 25, 2007
Body Modification: Suspension Edition
Body modification has returned to my thoughts.
(via modblog)
Posted by Groonk at 02:38 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, Research, Weird
August 23, 2007
Zombie Ronald Will Eat You in Your Sleep
I don't know what's going on in this picture but this is the creature I set loose on the noisy bastards upstairs.
*Knock. Knock.*
"Oh. Hello, Mr McDonald Person. We'd like a McMuffin to charge up and have more noisy, neighbor-disturbing sex."
"Well that's a mighty strong grip you have. Please don't attack me with those curiously sharp Mutant Clown Teeth."
"Ummm. Ow. Please stop chewing on my medulla oblongata."
(via ponzu and a very angry, very awake groonk)
Posted by Groonk at 01:43 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird
August 15, 2007
Cause You're a Dying Star. That's Who You Are.
(via bbc)
Posted by Groonk at 02:36 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Just Freaking Neat, Research, Science, Weird
July 21, 2007
The Internet was made for This: Filipino Inmates do "Thriller"
After watching that, I'm beside my self with awesome. Once you get past the transvestite "girlfriend" and the soft realization hits you square in the brains. 'I've just watched 1500 Filipino Inmates Do Thriller.'
Your life won't ever be the same again.
(via ectomo)
Posted by Groonk at 02:59 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Just Freaking Neat, Video, Weird
July 05, 2007
BEHOLD: When Schoolgirl Zombies Attack
You *will* waste 2 minutes of your life watching this if only because you're curious.
(via stacy youtube)
Posted by Groonk at 07:04 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Movies, Only in Japan, Trailers, Weird
June 01, 2007
She wasn't a 13-year-old, She was a 34-year-old Woman
Strange does not begin to cover this:
It is almost two weeks since a disturbing story broke about a little boy named Ondrej who had been severely abused by his mother. From that point on, the whole thing became more and more curious, as somebody said to be his 13-year-old sister disappeared from a children's home. First it emerged that the authorities had no record of "Anna", who Ondrej's mother had been attempting to adopt. Hundreds of police officers searched the country for "Anna", in vain. Now it seems that the alleged 13-year-old is in fact a diminutive 34-year-old woman. The girl has never existed, apparently.[...]
Questions will also be asked of others who came into contact with "Anna" - how could they take a 34-year-old for a 13-year-old? The director of the Brno children's home from which she disappeared said she gave staff a strange feeling, and they thought she had a strange face.
What in the fuck is going on in Czechoslovakia?
(via warrenellis and cesky rozhlas)
Posted by Groonk at 05:16 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird, World
May 30, 2007
Grant Morrison Warps Reality. Talks Sigil Magic.
Funny how I can research the various forms of magic(sigil magic, chaos magic) til I'm blue in the face, only to find the info I needed through sideways means months after the initial search began.
(via magickal youtube)
Posted by Groonk at 02:50 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Research, Video, Weird
May 03, 2007
They Come to Make Music of Your House
(via teddy kristiansen and whimsically drumming YouTube)
Posted by Groonk at 06:59 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Music, Video, Weird
April 25, 2007
In the Bush an Ancient Evil Lurks
Last hit before a final.
(Stephen Crowley/ New York Times)
Titles that could have been:
"In a bush, watching a Bush, be a bush."
"Shubbery cannot mask hell's shadow."
"It lurks behind the sun in shade.
It writes the plays that will be played."
(via kung fu monkey)
Posted by Groonk at 12:48 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Photos2, Politics, USA, Weird
April 18, 2007
25 Year Old Backstreet Boy Fanatic Lives the Dream
I can't even make a joke and say, "His mama must be real proud of him." Cause fuck if she's not right there next to him. Dad, too.
This laugh was much needed.
(via ontd and BB manic YouTube)
Posted by Groonk at 12:16 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Video, Weird
April 13, 2007
'Stray Shopping Carts' Won for Being Weird
"The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification" was named winner of the Bookseller/Diagram Prize for oddest book title.The book, written by Buffalo, N.Y.-based artist Julian Montague and published by Harry N. Abrams, beat "How Green Were the Nazis?" a study of the environmental policies of the Third Reich.
I'd own them both, for ten american dollars.
(via 7d, myway news)
Posted by Groonk at 06:13 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Books, Weird
April 11, 2007
Always Remember, Comics were Often Stupid
Also, back then, they were exclusively for kids.
Matt Fraction assembled some tragic and unfortunate panels from old DOOM PATROL's.
(via mattfraction)
Posted by Groonk at 07:12 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Comics, Funny, History, Weird
April 06, 2007
Rabbit
What a disturbing little film.
Fuck me. I like it.
(via neil gaiman, idol youtube)
Posted by Groonk at 12:21 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Video, Weird
April 04, 2007
Chocolate Jesus and Peanut Butter Evolution
Those are two things I never figured on typing in my lifetime.
(You thought I would make that joke didn't you? Fooled ya!)
Artist Cosimo Cavallaro's 200 pound, milk chocolate sculpture of Christ was to be exhibited next week at Manhattan's Lab Gallery but the Roger Smith Hotel that houses the exhibition space cancelled the show
(via boingboing)
The video explains that evolutionists claim that energy plus matter sometimes results in the creation of life. But since no one has ever found spontaneously-generated life in a jar of peanut butter, that means that matter plus energy from the sun couldn't have caused life on Earth.
(via boingboing)
Correct me if I'm wrong but that's what we in The Biz call a fallacy. Also, your stupidity is mighty and I fear being quashed by the sheer size of it.
(via boingboing)
Posted by Groonk at 12:34 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Religion, Video, Weird
March 28, 2007
More Celebrity Shenanigans
"I was a little bit drunk myself but felt something brush my breast. I thought it couldn’t be the future king... "
Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert...
[...]
It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.
If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.
It is the centre-piece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.
[...]
(silliness found here, here, and here)
Posted by Groonk at 12:08 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, Quotables, Weird
March 27, 2007
Saturn's got a Bizarre Hexagon
One of the most bizarre weather patterns known has been photographed at Saturn, where astronomers have spotted a huge, six-sided feature circling the north pole.Rather than the normally sinuous cloud structures seen on all planets that have atmospheres, this thing is a hexagon.
[...]
"This is a very strange feature, lying in a precise geometric fashion with six nearly equally straight sides," said Kevin Baines, atmospheric expert and member of Cassini's visual and infrared mapping spectrometer team at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, Calif. "We've never seen anything like this on any other planet. Indeed, Saturn's thick atmosphere, where circularly-shaped waves and convective cells dominate, is perhaps the last place you'd expect to see such a six-sided geometric figure, yet there it is."
The hexagon is nearly 15,000 miles (25,000 kilometers) across. Nearly four Earths could fit inside it. The thermal imagery shows the hexagon extends about 60 miles (100 kilometers) down into the clouds.
At Saturn's south pole, Cassini recently spotted a freaky human eye-like feature that resembles a hurricane.
Scientists say Voyager 1 and 2 photographed it more than two decades ago. The Cassini spotting confirms it's a "long-lasting oddity."
Huh.
WATCH: The moving picture show of Saturn's hexagon.
More on Saturn:
- There's a Large Body of Liquid on Saturn
- There's a Storm Churning on Saturn
- Saturn has a Pearl Necklace
- The Earth as it is from Saturn
- Saturn's Moon Hyperion has Odd Rice Crispy Design
- Mimas: "Death Star" of Saturn
(via usatoday and 7d who's doing Relay for Life for Cancer again this year )
Posted by Groonk at 11:21 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Science, Weird
March 15, 2007
Turn Around, cause Hurra Torpedo is Behind You and I Fear Their Noise
As I read it the Hurra Torpedo "is the world's leading kitchen appliance rock group. Since 1993 they have played for full houses all over their native Norway with their eclectic mixture of cover tunes and original material."
(via 7d and kitchen noisy YouTube)
Posted by Groonk at 08:39 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Music, Video, Weird
March 13, 2007
A Kiss Under Radiation is Only Deadly When You Mean It
Sex under radiation was already covered.
(via geekologie)
Posted by Groonk at 09:59 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Photos2, Sex, Weird
February 28, 2007
Quote of the Friggin Decade
The entire "article" is HI-fucking-LARIOUS. Alien-loving sex-fiends seem to go through a ton of trouble to hide their perversions behind alien abduction fantasies.
Who then was the being whose blond hair inexplicably became wrapped around Peter Khoury's penis?
(via warren ellis and canada. no shit. canada.)
Posted by Groonk at 09:01 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Weird
January 29, 2007
Surreal Documentary on Power, Control, CIA Brothels and LSD
The doc talks about the CIA hosting brothels in San Fran and secretly dosing "johns" with LSD just to see what happens.
There are 4 parts to this documentary at Realitysurfer on youtube.. Part 1 includes Groucho Marx on LSD, and a CIA Brothel. The Documentary is by Aron Ranen. He currently teaches at DVworkshops.com.
Posted by Groonk at 08:59 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Movies, Research, Video, Weird
January 17, 2007
Real Life Ronin Saves Police in England
As one of them stabbed at a Policeman with his knife, a mysterious do-gooder appeared from nowhere and attacked him with a samurai sword.Two of the criminals were arrested, but in true hero style the samurai disappeared before police could speak to him.
(link via boingboing)
Posted by Groonk at 09:46 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Martial Arts, Research, Weird
January 11, 2007
And a Thousand Birds Fell From the Sky
THOUSANDS of birds have fallen from the skies over Esperance and no one knows why. Is it an illness, toxins or a natural phenomenon? A string of autopsies in Perth have shed no light on the mystery.All the residents of flood-devastated Esperance know is that their "dawn chorus" of singing birds is missing.
The main casualties are wattle birds, yellow-throated miners, new holland honeyeaters and singing honeyeaters, although some dead crows, hawks and pigeons have also been found.
Wildlife officers are baffled by the "catastrophic" event, which the Department of Environment and Conservation said began well before last week's freak storm.
On Monday, Esperance, 725km southeast of Perth, was declared a natural disaster zone.
[...]
Michelle Crisp was one of the first to contact the DEC after finding dozens of dead birds on her property one morning.
She told The Australian she normally had hundreds of birds in her yard, but that she and a neighbour counted 80 dead birds in one day. "It went to the point where we had nothing, not a bird," she said. "It was like a moonscape, just horrible.
(via the australian)
Posted by Groonk at 04:02 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Weird, World
January 07, 2007
Tree Goats are So Ridiculous They're True
Geekologie tells me this image is not the least bit photoshopped. The Flickr link backs up their claim a bit more. I've never seen more bizarre goat action in my life. Goats climbing the argan tree to get at its hard to reach tasty fruit?
"Get outta here!" is what I'd say.
And what I'd say would be probably wrong.
(via geekologie and flickr and flickr's sanj b)
Posted by Groonk at 01:28 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Weird
December 15, 2006
You'll Never Be Lost on Mongo Again
The Strange Maps blog is posting all kinds of cartography curiosities. Funny maps. Fictional maps. Factional maps.
If it's a map, I guess it'll end up there.
(via strange maps and warren ellis)
Posted by Groonk at 02:31 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Blogged, Comics, Weird
December 07, 2006
Weird Clipart will Rot your Brain
I think I was looking for a santa hat clip art.
(via weirdclipart.com)
Posted by Groonk at 04:22 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Web Design, Weird
December 01, 2006
GA Man Tries to Stuff Wife in Oven, then Hides Under Mom's Bed
At one point during the fight, Jackson allegedly attempted to stuff his wife inside the kitchen oven, which had been left on to heat the house, Shupe said. The woman escaped and went to the sheriff's office with visible head injuries, Shupe said.Investigators found Jackson hiding under a bed at his mother's house in Decatur, where he had been living since the separation, Shupe said.
(via 7d and AP MyWay)
Posted by Groonk at 04:36 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird
November 26, 2006
Put Par-Ass Up Your Bum
This disturbs me: truly, madly, deeply. I was gonna stay away from it. I have enough freaks finding this site looking for 'nipple slips' and 'jessia alba.' But it's such a fucking a train wreck.
You just...keep...watching.
the site claims that "any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental," we can't help but wonder where they got the inspiration for the Par-ass Hilton, George W. Tush, and Smell Gibson (Bravefart edition) toys.
(via ONTD)
Posted by Groonk at 10:38 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird
November 11, 2006
British are "Completely Ignorant of Space Warfare Tactics*"
Notice this is not tagged under science. Conspiracy theorists amuse me with their priorities.
Nick Pope, a career civil servant who spent four years heading up the MoD's research into UFO sightings, is concerned that credible evidence of an alien threat is being ignored and that Britain is "wide open" to attack.According to an article in London paper The Evening Standard, Pope said: "The consequences of getting this one wrong could be huge. If you reported a UFO sighting now, I am absolutely sure that you would just get back a standard letter telling you not to worry. Frankly, we are wide open - if something does not behave like a conventional aircraft now, it will be ignored."
Pope explains that he became convinced of the reality of alien visits to Earth while he was investigating reports of UFO sightings. The MoD investigates all of these to make sure that British airspace has not been compromised.
He says he has seen no evidence of hostile intent, but suspects that the planet is being covertly reconnoitred.
*Fear my Robotech knowledge.
(via The Register)
Posted by Groonk at 10:01 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird
November 07, 2006
On Sharing a Meal with Harry Kim
In the weird file: Some web elf wants to have lunch with Star trek Voyager's, Garrett Wang. So much so, he made a website that explained his need.
if this was a marketing ploy by Wang's people, it would be borderline genius in its simplicity. Only Wang isn't well known in many places, except for the Trek crazies. So, this site is just weird.
Posted by Groonk at 09:29 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird
October 30, 2006
The Dog Who "Did Kermit"
Best quote in the audio interview(and there are many), "...winter was gonna come and we were gonna have a dog who didn't have toad:"
"We noticed Lady spending an awful lot of time down by the pond in our backyard," Laura Mirsch recalls.
Lady would wander the area, disoriented and withdrawn, soporific and glassy-eyed.
"Then, late one night after I'd put the dogs out, Lady wouldn't come in," Laura Mirsch says. "She finally staggered over to me from the cattails. She looked up at me, leaned her head over and opened her mouth like she was going to throw up, and out plopped this disgusting toad."
It turned out the toads were toxic -- and, if licked, the fluids on their skin provided a hallucinogenic effect.
(via NPR)
Posted by Groonk at 12:18 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, USA, Weird
October 18, 2006
Florrie Fisher is a Stranger with Motivational Candy
It's no secret that the 70s ex-drug addict/prostitute turned motivational speaker Florrie Fisher was the inspiration to Comedy Central's now cult classic Strangers with Candy(also in movie form).
But I never knew how marvelously off-putting Fisher was until I watched her vid "The Trip Back" in glorious You Tube.
I believe that she believes in what she's preaching, but she's just so damn odd and woefully politically incorrect I can't find myself taking anything she says seriously.
This part is to Amy Sedaris. Holy shit! You nailed the hell outta her character. You should get a special prize or something. Like a box full of puppies.
(via ONTD (all 3 are there) and numerical YouTube: One, Two, Three)
Posted by Groonk at 09:19 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of USA, Video, Weird
October 16, 2006
Snake Wine Makes You Sexy
I've always wondered what was missing in my life. Now I know. I need a batch of Snake Wine.
As for the title, I don't know. I had nothing else in my head. Although Ying states that snake wine is, "known for increasing sexual perfomance," I'm pretty sure if I had a snootfull of Snake Wine on hand, I'd feel anything but sexy.
(via warren ellis but taken by Ying in Guangzhou)
Posted by Groonk at 03:30 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird
September 26, 2006
Uwe Boll Likes to Suckerpunch People and Make Ass-Stupid Movies
All I can say is, I want my shot at that hack, too. Give me a couple of his movies to get a good murderous rage going and have the DVD rental cost come straight from my bank account for that extra hit of bloodlust.
That bitch will go down before the last bell is done ringing.
Donde esta Uwe?
Uwe esta DOWN!
He said Boll, 41, had told him it was just a joke, a public relations stunt.
Horror-movie journalist Chris Alexander became my new hero with this move:
And what in hell is up with Kristanna Loken? She's too hot to be spending time with that waste of art, Boll.
(via Dunc)
update: my god. There's video of the fight on gloriously sinful YouTube.
Uwe vs Lowtax
Lowtax interviewed after his beatdown
Posted by Groonk at 01:19 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Marketing, Movies, Weird
September 20, 2006
Zhang Forgot to Let Sleeping Pandas Lie
So many odd/surreal quotes in here. It's difficult to keep up.
The panda, who was asleep, was startled and bit Zhang, 35, on the right leg, it said. Zhang got angry and kicked the panda, who then bit his other leg. A tussle ensued, the paper said.
"I bit the fellow in the back," Zhang was quoted as saying in the newspaper. "Its skin was quite thick."
[...]
This next part uneases me:
I think it comes from being an American. If I do something wrong my government seeks to "press charges" or "put me under arrest." Or if you're the current President, you have that lovely option of secret prisons scattered about the world.
"Considering punishing him," has that extra wicked ring to it. It makes whatever government that says it turn instantly into a scolding parent ready to lock you in your room or run into the yard and pick a switch and it better be a good strong switch or you're really gonna get it then.
(via 7d)
Posted by Groonk at 04:22 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Quotables, Weird, World
September 14, 2006
What in All Hell is Going on in Bend,Oregon?
They're selling hobbits as a way of life.
In The Shire you will find good, sturdy homes with personality and character and great neighbors who share common values and a desire for the sanctuary of home.
The Shire is conceived to be a retro community in its exterior appearance. Inside The Shire dwellings you'll find a blend of quaint and charming styling cues melded throughout completely modern floor plans, conveniences and appliances.
To achieve the character and feeling of English cottages and village townhomes, The Shire designers have specified only high quality fixtures and materials. Some materials, seldom seen in residential construction for a hundred years, have been resurrected and manufactured from contemporary compositions.
I don't know if I'm horrified or amused.
(via neil gaiman)
Posted by Groonk at 07:12 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Marketing, USA, Weird
September 13, 2006
Steve Irwin Fans Possibly Lose their Shit, Cut Off Stingray Tails
Mr Irwin, a TV personality known as the "Crocodile Hunter", was killed while diving in Queensland when a stingray's barb stabbed him in the chest.
Since then, 10 stingrays have been found mutilated on Queensland beaches.
Government officials said they were investigating the deaths and there could be prosecutions.
Two stingrays were found at a beach north of Brisbane with their tails cut off, while eight were found on another beach on Monday, The Australian reported.
Wayne Sumpton of the state fisheries department said it was not clear if the incidents were connected to Mr Irwin's death.
He said fishermen who inadvertently caught stingrays sometimes cut off their tails to avoid being stung, but such a practice was uncommon.
Ok, people, that's counterproductive to the whole idea of conservation and being a naturalist. If it's true and all that.
(via warren ellis)
Posted by Groonk at 02:09 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Culture, Weird
August 27, 2006
Gigantic Little Girl Enjoys a Day in London
If you're good little boys and girls, The Little Girl Giant will let you ride her forearms like ponies.
(via ze frank)
Posted by Groonk at 07:25 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Video, Weird
August 19, 2006
All Trekkies Should be Sterilized...
...and shot. Just to be sure they never get a chance to procreate. One
would think being a trekkie is an automatic brand against them having The Sex, but they always have each other.
How's that mental image sitting on your brain?
"Warp Factor Love"
This was another hit on the email. And by "hit" I mean stomach turning disturbing on all levels. If you're a trekkie, and you start thinking it's a good idea to sing a long lovesong to yourself and spread it around the "series of tubes" known as the internet. You really need to take a step back and sort out where you are in life.
I hear a shotgun to the temple is perfect for times like those.
(blame wil wheaton in exile for this noise)
Posted by Groonk at 12:15 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Video, Weird
August 15, 2006
God's Tree? Maybe. God's Water. Definitely?
Her son, Lloyd, 47, discovered water leaking from the tree in April. He said it was cool, like it came from the tap.
The only damp spot around the tree trunk is where the water lands.
Mark Peterson, a regional community forester from the Texas Forest Service said he believes it could be a spring, but pointed out that would be rare with the drought conditions this summer.
"If it is a burst pipe their monthly bill would be enormous," Peterson said.
Lucille Pope has started to wonder if the water has special properties.
Her insurance agent dabbed drops of the water on a spider bite and the welt went away, she said.
If the water came from a stone, then we'd have something.
Like a fountain.
(via warren ellis)
Posted by Groonk at 11:25 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Religion, Weird
August 02, 2006
FOR SALE: Decommissioned Jump Jet, UK Folk Only
Medicmike lives! haven't heard from him in so long I was beginning to think him a myth.
Anywho, he has spotted a Navy Sea Harrier. For sale. On ebay.
It's engineless and weaponless, of course. It's selling as a show item. If only I had followed through with my original plan.
Posted by Groonk at 07:29 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird
July 27, 2006
Proof the Universe Hates Us Very, Very Much
(via neil gaiman)
Posted by Groonk at 08:13 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Marketing, Technology, Weird
July 20, 2006
Rubber Johnny will Freak You the Fuck Out
Rubber Johnny totally freaked my noise. I refuse to watch it twice in 24 hours. And I don't freak out over this kind of stuff easily.
You should send it to the biggest wuss in your social circle make make him/her watch it in a dark room. Then laugh your fool head off afterwards.
editor's note: Had to replace the first video embed with a YouTube embed. The previous one starting on its own volition was pissing me right the fuck off.
(link via ponzu)
I don't know exactly what Rubber Johnny is or how long it's been freaking around the interwub. All I know is, it totally freaks my shit. Ponzu sent this during the early hours of the morn. How glad I am of that can't be measured in dollars.
RJ did get silly when he started breakdancing. But it never got less "WTF".
Closer inspection of their official site leads to a UK film company. That explains a lot.
Not really.
Posted by Groonk at 05:54 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Movies, Trailers, Weird
July 17, 2006
The Case of the Half Baked Lobster
(via 7d)
Posted by Groonk at 02:49 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Weird
July 14, 2006
The Bong of the Dead
The witnesses said they then went to the tomb to see the casket and saw that the lid was removed and the body in the casket was headless.
Morristown said that while executing a search warrant at Buckalew’s home, they found a human head wrapped in bags, a necktie, a hacksaw, crowbar, garden trowel and two small parts of the damaged casket, according to the newspaper.
A psychiatrist has diagnosed Buckalew with mental health issues.
No shit, Doc? Mental issues. You must have graduated top of your class to come up with that astute analysis.
(via b55seddel)
Posted by Groonk at 08:49 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of USA, Weird
July 06, 2006
Ready for Ghost Shift
The Glass Eye seems to have caught a spectre haunting his person.
He claims no photoshop and no double exposure.
(Via warrenellis and the glass eye)
Posted by Groonk at 10:46 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Flickrlicious, Weird
June 07, 2006
"Hell's Kitchen" Averted in Australia
Local Australian governments are wanting to create a 220 yard no brothel zone around all cemeteries. This comes after Brisbane stopped said flesh fest from opening across the road of a local cemetery.
Dude has a point. Whoever thought it would be a "good idea" to place a brothel near a gravesite is a very disturbed individual. Don't they know that zombies love to feed on the flesh of sinners? Opening cat houses next to graveyards would be handing the undead an easy-to-get-to spicy buffet.
(via myway)
Posted by Groonk at 01:37 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird, World
FACT: Lions are "Godless Killing Machines"
Colbert thinks it's the bears that are dangerous. This man from Kiev proves the bears have competition.
"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."
The incident, Sunday evening when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.
You gotta be hating life something awful lot to swim to an island, crawl into a lion enclosure, and shout grandiose challenges to the heavens. Other folks jump in front of trains or overdose on over-the-counter sleepy pills. Not that guy. Some would say that he spit in the face of the Almighty and the Almighty blinked. I say that lioness simply had a taste for fools.
(via 7d via myway)
Posted by Groonk at 01:20 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Religion, Weird
June 05, 2006
Pat Robertson is Gamma Charged
Pat Robertson claimed he can leg press 2,000 pounds. If that's true that'd make him the Hulk of his collective. The Samson of his parish.
Color me dubious:
"One Saturday morning, his physician said, 'I'll get you bragging rights. Let¹s go to 2,000 pounds.' Then he worked up multiple reps of 1,400 pounds, 1,500 pounds, 1,600 pounds, 1,700 pounds, 1,800 pounds and 1,900 pounds. When 2,000 pounds was put on the machine two men got on either side and helped push the load up, and then let it down on Mr. Robertson, who pushed it up one rep and let it go back down again.
"Mr. Robertson warms up now at 500 pounds, and was shown on television with Kristi Watts doing 1,000 pounds.
Gods! Either Pat Robertson is tough enough to take down bears with nothing but his thumb and a can full of green substance or there is more in those protein shakes than than he's tellin'.
(via dunc! and wonkette)
Posted by Groonk at 06:22 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Religion, Weird
May 12, 2006
Another use for dead babies
No, it's not really dead babies. It is fucking weird to my eyes, though.
I see something like that and I'm reminded of Eddie Izzard in "Dress to Kill". That's not exactly 'babies on spikes' but it's equally as disturbing.
Definitely not a donut.
(via rocketboom blog)
Posted by Groonk at 04:55 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Weird
April 23, 2006
Strange booms heard across the USA
The world continues to find ways to stay strange.
This San Diego article investigates strange booms that were heard in Alabama, North Carolina, Mississippi, and San Diego County.
I wonder if reader Dirt heard any of this.
Scientists insist it wasn't an earthquake. The Federal Aviation Administration has no record of any planes producing a sonic boom by breaking the sound barrier.
Camp Pendleton officials say no activities on the Marine base could have created such a disturbance. There were no large explosions in San Diego County that day, and no meteor fireballs were reported in the sky that morning.
What was it, then?
[...]
“Sir, I've never even heard of that plane before,” an Air Force spokeswoman in Virginia responded when asked about the possibility.
Even UFO experts are baffled by what happened in San Diego. Asked whether a flying saucer might have caused such an event, Peter Davenport of the Seattle-based National UFO Reporting Center said, “Probably not.”
“UFOs almost never generate sonic booms or shock waves,” he added. “They accelerate so rapidly that they leave a vacuum in the sky, much the way lightning does.”
And here I thought nature abhorred vaccuums.
(via boingboing)
Posted by Groonk at 07:37 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Alabama, Research, USA, Weird
March 28, 2006
Drawing Restraint 9
First, let me say that art is subjective.
Second, what in fuck is this guy on?
Third, I hope to God his stash never gets in the global water supply. When that happens, all our noise is fucked.
Fourth, art is still subjective.
Fifth, after reading the interview, I have a better idea of what that "9" trailer is about.
Sixth, I drank what?
(note: I remember his noise from before.)
Posted by Groonk at 06:41 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Interviews, Trailers, Weird
February 28, 2006
The Cat Piano amused the hellafuck out of a sadistic prince
And I thought this only existed in Looney Toon-verse.
Inventor Athanasius Kircher is to blame.
(via boingboing)
Posted by Groonk at 04:36 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird
January 27, 2006
I Overdosed on Awesome
I didn't believe it when The Superficial told, nay warned, me of the danger. I shoulda known better.
It may not be bjoobies. But I garun-damn-tee your soul may or may not be rocked by watching this video.
David Hasselhoff IS "Hooked on a Feeling".
I dare you to watch that and not be "rocked".
I triple dog dare you.
(via the superficial)
Posted by Groonk at 11:40 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Video, Weird
January 19, 2006
Poe visitor returns for 57th year
Last year, I had decided to go to a visit this year. I had forgotten when the exact date was so I looked it up last night and learned it was to be that very night.
Guess there's always next year.
Some of the 25 spectators drawn to a tiny, locked graveyard in downtown Baltimore for the ceremony climbed over the walls of the site and were "running all over the place trying to find out how the guy gets in," according to Jeff Jerome, the most faithful viewer of the event.
[...]
Jerome, curator of the Poe House and Museum, said early Thursday he had to chase people out of the graveyard, fearing they would interfere with the mystery visitor's ceremony.
"In letting people know about this tribute, I've been contributing to these people's desire to catch this guy," Jerome said. "It's such a touching tribute, and it's been disrupted by the actions of a few people trying to interfere and expose this guy."
Anyone have any idea who the mysterious visitor is? Or is it a conspiracy of visitors? Anyone ever been to the visit?
Anyone care?
To be clear, I'm not looking to expose the visitor. Just want to see something odd and strangely touching.
(via cnn)
Posted by Groonk at 10:06 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, Just Freaking Neat, Weird
January 18, 2006
The Iron Giant: Taller than TALL
I watched the commentary on my newly purchased but only recently seen special edition of The Iron Giant. I was content in the idea that I loved that movie more than anyone else on this planet. I then searched the net for Iron Giant images and found that my love is only a schoolboy crush compared to this guy's Iron Giant affections.
Dave has created an Ultimate Iron Giant site, a virtual museum of all things big, metal, and directed by Brad Bird. Shirts, posters, clocks, limited edition artowork...it's all in there and available for trade if there are extras.
Posted by Groonk at 12:21 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, Weird
December 20, 2005
Stalin wanted Man-ape super soldiers
Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia's top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.
According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."
[...]
Mr Ivanov was highly regarded. He had established his reputation under the Tsar when in 1901 he established the world's first centre for the artificial insemination of racehorses.
Mr Ivanov's ideas were music to the ears of Soviet planners and in 1926 he was dispatched to West Africa with $200,000 to conduct his first experiment in impregnating chimpanzees.
Meanwhile, a centre for the experiments was set up in Georgia - Stalin's birthplace - for the apes to be raised.
Mr Ivanov's experiments, unsurprisingly from what we now know, were a total failure. He returned to the Soviet Union, only to see experiments in Georgia to use monkey sperm in human volunteers similarly fail.
A final attempt to persuade a Cuban heiress to lend some of her monkeys for further experiments reached American ears, with the New York Times reporting on the story, and she dropped the idea amid the uproar.
That Stalin, I tell you. he was one crazy fuck.
(via digg)
Posted by Groonk at 04:05 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Research, Science, Weird, WorldWarII
December 01, 2005
They've got a Boner for Christmas
I swear i don't know why I'm posting this. Apparently plushie's have escalated their animal worship to include not only stuffed toys that have vaginal and anal openings but toys with Mr Happy's as well.
The sadness continues in The Erection Collection.
Photos of things to make your mother cry after the jump.
You sick bastards.
(via warrenellis, of course)
Meet Ding a Ling and Masturgator. I leave it to you to figure out which is which.
 does your mother... |
 ...know what you're doing? |
Posted by Groonk at 05:29 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex, Weird
October 11, 2005
Building a Mystery
Dirt set this up so perfectly that I'll let him describe what's going on:
"Easy to Assemble & Clean. Glow-In-The-Dark Spike with
Squeeze Bulb"
Give up?
(I can pretty much guarantee that your guess is wrong.
Otherwise you are a sick, sick person.)
Be sure and check out what other users have to say.
(via dirt)
Posted by Groonk at 05:19 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird
October 05, 2005
In Hollywood, Bleaching the Anus is all the Rage
(via 7d)
Posted by Groonk at 06:37 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, Weird
September 30, 2005
The Yakuza wants us dead
Or so claims an Idaho weatherman.
Scott Stevens says after looking at NASA satellite photos of the hurricane, he’s is convinced it was caused by electromagnetic generators from ground-based microwave transmitters.
The generators emit a soundwave between three and 30 megahertz and Stevens claims the Russians invented the storm-creating technology back in 1976 and sold it to others in the late 1980s.
Stevens says the clouds formed by the generators are different than normal clouds and are able to appear out of nowhere and says Katrina had many rotation points that are unusual for hurricanes.
At least ten nations and organizations possess the technology but Stevens suspects the Japanese Yakuza created Katrina in order to make a fortune in the futures market and to get even with the U.S. for the 1945 bombing of Hiroshima.
Stevens will discuss the storm creation theory tomorrow night (Sep. 9) on an internet radio show at www.thesciencedetective.com
That's funny though. I had been hearing it was North Korea who was making it the winter of our discontent.
(link via medicmike)
Posted by Groonk at 02:42 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Research, Weird
September 29, 2005
Dead cats are not fuel
But Koch, 55, said there was no truth to stories published in Bild newspaper on Tuesday and Wednesday that suggested he used dead cats as part of the mix for his organic diesel fuel.
"I use paper, plastics, textiles and rubbish," Koch told Reuters.
"It's an alternative fuel that is friendly for the environment. But it's complete nonsense to suggest dead cats. I've never used cats and would never think of that. At most the odd toad may have jumped in."
(via cnn)
Posted by Groonk at 01:41 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, Weird
September 26, 2005
The Osbourne Campbell Connection
Posted by Groonk at 08:00 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird
September 15, 2005
China Uses Dead Convicts to Make You Pretty
Agents for the firm, which could not be named for legal reasons, have told would-be customers that skin taken from prisoners after they have been shot is being used to develop collagen for lip and wrinkle treatments, the Guardian newspaper said following an undercover investigation.
"The agents say some of the company's products have been exported to the UK, and that the use of skin from condemned convicts is 'traditional' and nothing to 'make such a big fuss about'," the daily alleged.
That's it. that's the reason we should start up the death penalty full tilt. When convicts and criminals hear that we're willing to murder-up folks(all legal-like of course) to make a decent blush or eyeliner, they'll be sore afraid. The vainity of America is scarier than any crack dealer or mob kingpin. America's vainity would pluck out your toenails and grind it into a nice tea if it thought that would shave off 2 years of eye wrinkles.
(via ponzu)
Posted by Groonk at 09:28 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird
September 12, 2005
The Tiger Meat was Actually Donkey Meat Drenched in Tiger Piss
The Hufulou restaurant, located beside the Heidaohezi tiger reserve near the city of Hailin, had advertised stir-fried tiger meat with chilies for $98as well as liquor flavored with tiger bone for $74 a bottle, the China Daily reported.
Raw meat was priced at $864 per kilogram.
The sale of tiger parts is illegal in China and officers shut down the restaurant, only to be told by owner, Ma Shikun, that the meat was actually that of donkeys, flavored with tiger urine to give the dish a "special" tang, the newspaper said.
The report didn't say how the urine was obtained.
Authorities confiscated the restaurant's profits and fined Ma $296 it said. It wasn't clear what Ma was fined for. Selling donkey meat is not illegal in China and it is widely consumed in the northeast.
Ma had initially claimed that the meat came from dead tigers sold to him by the management of the Heidaohezi reserve, but later changed his story, the report said.
While Heidaohezi's director denied that claim, the reserve, with about 150 tigers, has been involved in similar controversies in the past.
Until China outlawed the trade in 1993, the reserve received most of its revenue from the sale of tiger skins, bones and other body parts, which are believed by Chinese to imbue vigor and sexual prowess.
Not one part of that story deserved to be forgotten.
(via warren ellis)
Posted by Groonk at 01:31 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Weird, World
August 17, 2005
Vampire Tweakers
I never knew meth addicts were actually vampires...
...or Rain Man.
(via boingboing)
Posted by Groonk at 03:36 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird
Kids, this is what booze does to ya
This is the model of fuckedupedness.
That sad, pathetic bastard. The never-ending hard-on. Not the pleasure disease one may think it is.
(link via warrenellis)
Posted by Groonk at 03:07 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Weird
August 08, 2005
kopi luwak coffee
I swear I've seen this before somewhere. Can't rightly recall where though.
The Luwak (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus) denizen of the coffee (kopi) plantations of Java, Sumatra, and Sulawesi, eats only the ripest coffee cherries.
Unable to digest the coffee beans the Luwak graciously deposits them on the jungle floor where they are eagerly collected by the locals.
This can't be true...can it?
(via b55seddel)
Posted by Groonk at 10:35 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Weird
July 13, 2005
Woman inexplicably grows penis, becomes a monk
Goddamn. Wishing made it so.