May 06, 2008
Beautiful Agony: Watch People "Die" a Little, Orgasm
0_o
Beautiful Agony is an art/erotic site. Of course, you have to pay to see men and women experience La Petite Mort. Because "art" is never free. Right?
I should pay attention to Buzzfeed more often.
(via buzzfeed, beautifulagony)
Posted by Groonk at 06:25 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Sex
February 27, 2008
Guess Who's Getting Fucked Now
In reverse(cowgirl) order:
I think that's everyone. We now have a Hat Trick of fuckery. No more, please. Leave the fucking joke alone.
(via /film, affleck's you tube, damon's you tube)
Posted by Groonk at 02:45 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Intertube Madness, Movies, Sex
February 19, 2008
Marky Ramone has Condoms. Oh, So Many Condoms.
What do you get with each kit, you hesitantly inquire? Why, a couple jimmy hats, some lube, and an STD resource card, packed in a discreet Marky Ramone-themed tin with the motto "Too Tuff to Break" emblazoned on top. Available in black or silver! And, as Ready Two Go reminds us, the tins are easily refillable with "coins, pills, cigarettes, stash, mints, gum."
(via ontd, pitchforkmedia)
Posted by Groonk at 12:26 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Marketing, Music, Sex
February 05, 2008
Porn Stars are talking about Politics
View Porn Star words on who they're voting for this Super Tuesday. Oh shit, that's today.
See some hilarity after the jump.
(via digg)
Posted by Groonk at 02:59 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Politics, Sex, USA
January 19, 2008
In the Future, Hot Robot Luvin' will be Normal
Weeks ago, Warren Ellis posted a much blog reacted(53 as of this posting) Three Laws of Robotics. The special thing about these laws are they came from his mind...so...you know, be sitting down when you read them. I almost cracked a rib from laughing.
A few days ago the Colbert Report interviewed David Levy who wrote an entire book on the subject called Love + Sex with Robots. Levy did this without a scent of parody or snarkiness or satire. In fact, he proclaimed sex with robots will occur within 5 years. Love will take another half century.
The one thing Levy didn't touch on is that no one will expect them to be as smart as they are sexy.
A dangerous mistake to make.
(via warrenellis.com and my writerless TV)
Posted by Groonk at 11:22 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Books, Robots, Sex, The Future
December 12, 2007
BLIND CLICK 20: Oh, You Clever Little Jeans Advertisers
(via digg)
Posted by Groonk at 07:25 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Marketing, Sex
November 16, 2007
Fox News ain't Nothing but *PORN*
(via Cliff Schecter)
Posted by Groonk at 06:18 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Marketing, Sex, Video
September 23, 2007
My Respect for Alan Moore's Works is Evolving
To paraphrase Mr Ellis, 'you can do fucking anything in comics.'
(via topshelfcomix)
Posted by Groonk at 01:41 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Comics, Sex, Video
August 02, 2007
Today I learned about "Vegansexuals"
No, really. VEGANSEXUALS.
But seriously, get the fuck out my face with that shit.
(via applegeeks lite and buzzfeed)
Posted by Groonk at 03:33 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Comics, Culture, Sex
Sexy Robot Women Collected on One Poster
Ain't It Cool ran a Robot Poster contest and the winner was this:
And a mighty fine winner indeed.
I can name about half of them. The rest, well even *I* am not that geeky.
(via ain't it cool and some random search i was doing)
Posted by Groonk at 09:40 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Robots, Sex
July 05, 2007
The Melbourne City Council paid You to do What?
The warning came after the Melbourne City Council last night decided against resuming its former policy of paying private investigators to have sex in illegal brothels, to gather evidence of a breach of planning rules.
(via digg, theage.com.au)
Posted by Groonk at 04:13 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Sex
May 25, 2007
Tania Derveaux will Blow 40,000 Guys for Votes
Is she lying? Only 40,000 guys will know for sure.
Sex and politics have always ridden in the same cart very comfortably.
Tania Derveaux is ready to give out 40,000 blowjobs to men that vote for her in the next Belgian election. Tania is currently the leading (of course) NEE party senate candidate. Tania says she will take a 500-day tour around the world and blow dudes every single day. That's about 80 dicks a day!
In order to receive a oral tongue bath from Tania you have to be 18 or older, wear a condom and Tania can deny you for any reason. She said, "We adhere to high standards of service but due to time limitations each performance can last no longer than 5 minutes."[...]
The next Belgian election is June 5th and at least 40,000 votes are needed to start a political group.
Since I have no aspirations for porn, I never thought I'd get to see an actual Blowjob Request Form. If all I needed was a form to get a hummer...hell. I'd have printed that out decades ago.
Extra bits of internet crazy:
Some notes after having received more than 1000 applications:
- submitting several applications will not result in more blowjobs
- Services for female applicants can only be provided in Second Life if the applicant has the necessary avatar modifications
(via ONTD)
Posted by Groonk at 04:31 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Politics, Sex, World
May 01, 2007
Secrets of the Red Light District Revealed
This week might be celebrity quote week. I haven't decided yet.
The following are two seperate bits on James Gunn's visit to the Red Light District in Amsterdamn. The first quote being about a prostitute by the name of Wet Pussy. Yup, Wet Pussy.
The second is from a prostitute named "Emma" and a sad/insightful interview he had with her.
She pulled on my arm, and tried to forcibly pull me into the little room. But I am powerful! Much stronger than a prostitute! I stood my ground.[...]
We like to think there's a great divide between "us" and "them", that there's something innately different about us. But the only thing that separates us is that one choice, that simple action. And ALL of us, if put in the right situation on the right day when we're in the right mood can make an unusual choice. As I spoke with Emma, "There but for the Grace of God go I" had true resonance.
(via the james gunn blog)
Posted by Groonk at 11:40 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Sex, World
April 30, 2007
Amy Winehouse Will Death-Choke You During Sex
"I was under for several seconds. I couldn't breathe and started freaking out. Then she pulled my head up. I was gasping for breath but Amy (Winehouse) carried on as if it was perfectly normal behaviour. I thought, ‘Wow, you've got b***s'."We did it three more times that night and again in the morning all over her place. It was a sign of things to come..."
Say what you want about Ms Winehouse, but the woman has an insanely strong singing voice.
And hell, if she asked, I wouldn't be saying no.
I'd simply invest in scuba gear.
(via ontd and some trashy british tabloid)
Posted by Groonk at 07:20 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Sex
April 07, 2007
Twitterdildonics Adds Sex to Twitter-verse
It was only a matter of time.
While at SXSW Interactive in Austin, Texas, Roving RoboReporter Violet Blue caught up with a unique hacker by the name of Kyle Machulis. Kyle isn't your ordinary teledildonic hardware hacker. No, Kyle created the ultimate real-time sex device mashup by linking public Twitter updates to a Rez Trance Vibrator allowing users to FEEL Twitter messages.
I still don't *get* Twitter. Maybe if more people lived the life of a superstar adventure stuntman writer there'd be use for instant overshares. At the very least maybe the overshares would be interesting.
UPDATE: ahhh, Woot finally makes a solid case for Twitter's existance.
(via slashdong)
Posted by Groonk at 03:35 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, Sex, Video
March 13, 2007
A Kiss Under Radiation is Only Deadly When You Mean It
Sex under radiation was already covered.
(via geekologie)
Posted by Groonk at 09:59 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Photos2, Sex, Weird
February 24, 2007
Alabama Promotes Finger Lovin': Sex Toys still Banned
BoinBoing summed it up best with that picture inset.
In a unanimous opinion, a three-judge panel for the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals upheld an Alabama statute banning the commercial distribution of sex toys, saying that there is no fundamental right to privacy raised by the plaintiff's case against the law.
(via boinboing)
Posted by Groonk at 09:57 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Alabama, Sex
January 26, 2007
TO: All Sexy Hollywood Ladies-- Scott Baio Probably Fucked You
The thought of Scott Baio being a rampant poon hound is not as bewildering as the Screech sex tape, but it's just as disturbing.
What's a guy to do when he's "dated and made love to some of the most desirable, beautiful starlets in Hollywood" but still can't find love? If you're Scott Baio, you find two co-writers to package up your pinhead thoughts and try to sell a book.[...]
Hey Baio, here's a thought: kissing and telling about those kisses in a book might not be the best way to fix you're "alone problem."
You're excerpts are fuuny though:
On being a teen heartthrob:"I got tight with Charles Laufer, the owner and publisher of Tiger Beat, which became an effective promotional tool.... One girl sent me her underwear that she'd peed and menstruated in, didn't wipe and ran a mile in, so I could have her natural body fluids and odors.
[...]
On his attempt to pick up Beverly D'Angelo (the Vacation movies, Entourage):
"Beverly was standing there at Liza's party. I didn't even introduce myself. I walked right over to her and confessed, "You know, you have one of the sexiest qualities a woman can ever have.
'Oh yeah? What's that?' she asked. 'You have an overbite.'
'I don't have an overbite, dear,' she said. 'I have a cocksucker's mouth.'"
Ms D'Angelo, I may have fallen in love with you a little bit.
Is that strange?
Posted by Groonk at 02:55 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Books, Marketing, Sex
January 15, 2007
Caprica 6 Displays Her Naughty Bits in Playboy
I'm going back on not posting any more sexy links. Why? Cause I saw this noise and can I say, "Goddamn!"
Tricia Helfer threw modesty to the wind and gave a half million geeks and nerds a collective stiffy by showing her stuff in February 2007's Playboy.
God bless her.
(via ontd)
UPDATE: Looks like Blogger got wise to that guy's naked Helfer page and shut him down. Pity.
Posted by Groonk at 10:49 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex
December 13, 2006
HOW: Your Car Suspension Works
UPDATE: I moved the damn thing under the cut. I can't abide videos that auto-start.
(link via ponzu)
Posted by Groonk at 04:32 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Marketing, Sex, Video
December 03, 2006
The Wii is Cheap, Fun, and Easy
And it's beautiful and blonde and vivacious and playful. I've got to get into one of those Wiis:
(via 7d and ifilm)
Posted by Groonk at 08:19 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Marketing, Sex, Video
November 16, 2006
Handsome Donkey? Sweet Ride!
The Orgasalarm.
Sweet holy fuck, some engineer needs to make this a reality.
(via Handsome donkey and their satellite love site YouTube)
Posted by Groonk at 08:48 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Just Freaking Neat, Sex, Video
November 06, 2006
Robots Like it Kinky
My first sex and robots in a movie mashup post. I'm so proud.
(via warren ellis and tribeca film festival)
Posted by Groonk at 04:55 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Movies, Robots, Sex, Trailers
October 30, 2006
The Eye of OMAC
That's so wrong:
(via cbr:lying in the gutters volume 2 column 75)
Posted by Groonk at 12:25 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Comics, Sex
August 09, 2006
Office Girls Like to Show Off Their Unmentionables
Looks like a TV show put three ladies together in an office setting and had a contest over who could be Miss Slutty McSlutslut. You know how I figure it's a TV show and not real life shennanignans? Girls that hot never worked in any of my office gigs. That was a dead giveaway. Well it was that and the laugh track in the background.
Only time I hear a laugh track in my day-to-day is when I'm readying for a shower or applying for a home loan. And that laughter isn't so much about the goodheartedness.
(via 7d))
Posted by Groonk at 08:21 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex, Video
August 02, 2006
Flickr Ladies Love Showing Nipple
Both were self-portraits taken by gifted amateur women photographers whose work has attracted hundreds of thousands of internet viewers. And each photograph ignited a furious debate about what one woman photographer has described as "the new trend for the enlightened, liberated woman of today . . . to be proudly naked on the internet".
"Mona Lisa is finally jumping out of the frame, slapping Leonardo and painting herself," declared Lola the Car Chick, a photographer who was among more than 11,000 viewers of the scarf shot by Rebekka Guoleifsdottir, a 28-year-old single mother from Reykjavik.
(via rebekka and times online)
Posted by Groonk at 12:54 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Flickrlicious, Sex
July 30, 2006
Eddie van Halen Plays for Porn
Now Eddie van Halen is lending his talents to a "couples movie" directed by his friend Michael Ninn: Sacred Sin.
(via sex drive daily)
Posted by Groonk at 07:04 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Music, Sex
June 28, 2006
This Year's Erotica Expo: Risque but Unthreatening?
Isn't the fact that something is "risque" mean that it's threatening someone's sensibilities?
There's a whole bit at the beginning of the article talking about the correct way to spank your partner which was amusing in itself. The titles to some of these seminars outmatched that by far.
On Friday and Saturday, Payne presented "How to Be a Dominant Diva," which is how Tom wound up being spanked and caned in public. (It could have been worse for Tom; Payne also demonstrated hogtying on her husband, Greg Sena, a cross-dressing Chatsworth geologist who said that at their wedding two years ago, she wore a red dress, he wore a white dress … and yes, his mother wept.)
Saturday's seminar lineup included "The Straight Girls Guide to Sleeping With Chicks," "A Practical Guide to Striptease" by Miyoko Fujimori, a former Playboy Channel talk-show host, and "Naked Chocolate: The Astonishing Truth About the World's Greatest Aphrodisiac," by David Wolfe, an earnest raw-food expert who was energetically selling cacao nibs and goji berries at his booth Friday night.
Personal note: Anyone who tries to seel you the benefits of "raw food" and is not talking about fruits or vegetables is a nut and should be given a wide berth.
(via reverse cowgirl)
Posted by Groonk at 04:02 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex
May 24, 2006
A Sex Theme Park will Open in London
...
I wonder who the mascot will be.
Visitors to Amora - The Academy of Sex and Relationships at the Trocadero in Piccadilly, will pass through seven zones including Pleasure and Orgasm.
The 10,500sq-ft exhibit is designed to "separate fact from myth and educate everyone into being better lovers".
You have to be aged 18 and over to get in and tickets will cost £15 for the attraction which opens on 7 September.
Organizers expect 600K visitors. I think they greatly underestimate the power of sex.
(via warren ellis)
Posted by Groonk at 08:55 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex
May 15, 2006
The Porn Industry is Ballsy
Starting Monday, Vivid Entertainment says it will sell its adult films through the online movie service CinemaNow, allowing buyers to burn DVDs that will play on any screen, not just a computer.
It's another first for adult film companies that pioneered the home video market and rushed to the Internet when Hollywood studios still saw it as a threat.
"Leave it to the porn industry once again to take the lead on this stuff," said Michael Greeson, founder of The Diffusion Group, a consumer electronics think tank in Plano, Texas.
"The rest of Hollywood stands back and watches and lets the pornography industry work out all the bugs," he said.
Again, the mainstream suits are showed up by the "smut makers".
(via 7d)
Posted by Groonk at 05:12 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex
May 05, 2006
Joe Rogan goes to a Porno Party
Stranger than ficiton day continues with this bit of noise.
Dunc tells me that Joe "Fear Factor" Rogan has challenged Wesley "Too Wong Foo..." Snipes to a UFC fight. That's Ultimate Fighting Championship for the unaware. Even odder than that, Rogan says it just might happen.
I'm not sure what that whole deal is about, but I found this story on Rogan's blog/official about his first(?) porno party too funny not to remember.
The kid's eyes are locked on the screen. He's got this look in his eyes is like he really believes that his brain must be malfunctioning. Like he just can’t comprehend what he's watching. Like as if he didn't even know she was a porn star. His jaw drops.
After about 30 seconds of this kid standing in front of the screen, frozen in the hypnotic spell of ass, mouth, ass, mouth, ass, mouth… he turns to her asks her a question, and I hear her say, "I was gonna tell you."
The whole tale is here.
Posted by Groonk at 06:13 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Blogged, Sex
Japanese girls like to be tickled
Honest to badness, if this is what all japanese tv is like, I'm on the next jet over.
There's no nudity but I wouldn't let your boss catch you watching this:
Best I can figure, all three girls writhe and moan while the contestants decide which girl is truly being tickled in her "downstairs". And really, in a contest like that, aren't we all winners?
(via The Unnamed)
Posted by Groonk at 05:41 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Only in Japan, Sex, Video
April 28, 2006
Anyone can share it, with someone nice like you
(via neil gaiman)
Posted by Groonk at 02:02 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Marketing, Sex, Video
April 24, 2006
Ex-Cardinal says Condoms may be "a lesser evil"
[...]
The Vatican says abstinence is the best way to tackle HIV/Aids.
But last week, a retired archbishop backed the use of condoms for married couples to prevent Aids transmission.
Damn. Never thought that'd happen. A step into the secular world. A small slightly, retarded baby step.
There is still something very odd about a man who does not and cannot have sex translating to other people what they should do in their sex lives.
(via bbc news)
Posted by Groonk at 03:14 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Religion, Sex
Naureen Zaim is Superhot
Just had to say it. She's a feast of fine for my eyes.
If I'm reading her website right. She's an artist to boot.
Sexy. Athletic. Smart. What can't she do?
I should star a supermodel category. I will when I'm ready to be super-spammed straight to hell.
(via Mr Playboy Radio AJ Gentile and Naureen Zaim)
Posted by Groonk at 12:33 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Artist, Sex, Sport
April 23, 2006
Now South Carolina wants to ban sex toys
Why The South can't get over its insane sex phobias I'll never know. It's just toys between consenting adults. Let people get off damnit!
Ms. Gillespie, 49, said she has worked in the store for nearly 20 years and has seen people from every walk of life, including "every Sunday churchgoers."
"I know of multiple marriages that sex toys have sold because some people need that. The people who are riding us (the adult novelty industry) so hard are probably at home buying it (sex toys and novelties) on the Internet. It’s ridiculous."
The measure would add sex toys to the state’s obscenity laws, which already prohibit the dissemination and advertisement of obscene materials.
People convicted under obscenity laws face up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine.
(via boingboing)
Posted by Groonk at 07:15 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex
April 19, 2006
Tiny bunny ears. Tinier shorts.
Enough science. It's time for Evangeline Lily in skin tight shorts/thingies and bunny ears.
Bigger pics after the jump.
(via the superficial)
Posted by Groonk at 08:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Ministry of Holiday, Sex
April 13, 2006
Do fries go with that shake?
I should be working...
tig o bitties!
she could teach you...
Posted by Groonk at 01:13 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Avatarem, Sex
April 02, 2006
Censored porn
Surprisingly safe for work link here.
And defeating the very nature of porn:
...now that song is stuck in my head.
(via geek chat)
Posted by Groonk at 07:36 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Sex
A sorta comprehensive timeline of porn
This porn timeline is fairly good at the 20th century bits but it missed out on ancient egyptian and roman lusty thoughts.
In my eyes, you can't call yourself comprehensive if you're not going beyond the Kama Sutra.
Just sayin'.
Here's a very brief look:
1972 - Notable Porn Movies - Fritz the Cat - Ralph Bakshi (Anime)
1974 - Larry Flynt starts Hustler.
1975 - Betamax introduced
1975 - First condom commercial air on television
1976 - VHS introduced
1978 - Larry Flynt is shot in an assassination attempt that left him paralyzed from the waist down.
1983 - Name server developed at University of Wisconsin
1984 - Penthouse publishes pictures of Vanessa Williams naked. She resigns her Miss America crown.
(complete list is here)
And if I'm not mistaken, Ralph Bakshi isn't considered anime.
(via boingboing)
Posted by Groonk at 05:11 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex
March 26, 2006
It's like "Weird Science" for gamers
If only our(USA) commercials were so bold.
NSFW. I swear, you click this... you're gonna get fired.
Commercial THQ Inc for Playstation-game Juiced
You can download it here.
Posted by Groonk at 08:04 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Games, Marketing, Sex, Video
March 20, 2006
MOVIE MONDAY: Yakuzasploitation
I hear-tell this is a trailer for some 70s Japanese movie called Female Yakuza Tale that contains "live action sequences interspersed with beautifully stylized line drawings."
All I needed to know was "chicks with swords" :
So NSFW it ain't funny.
Well, it is funny, if you're not your boss.
BTW, some site called http://www.secret-cinema.com has a torrent of the aforementioned tale.
(via boingboing)
Posted by Groonk at 02:55 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Only in Japan, Research, Sex, Video
March 15, 2006
Loveline: Saving the "babies"!
Hello America.
Once again I can access Loveline. Once again I hear all your sexual functions/disfunctions. I know about your vaginusmus. Your multiple orgasmic "problems".
The Loveline Podcast was revealed to me thanks to 7d. All MP3 downloadable. Current episodes available via iTunes.
I hear your filthy secrets America...and I am intrigued, horrified...and generally entertained.
Keep calling the show, America.
Keep me woefully entertained.
Groonk
P.S. If you don't stop eating the fish, the smell will be noticeable....down there(Rainn Wilson & B.J. Novak from The Office know what I mean).
P.P.S. The Unofficial Loveline Quote Archive kicks all sorts of ass.
Posted by Groonk at 01:16 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Just Freaking Neat, Podcast, Quotables, Sex
March 03, 2006
The Sex Gods were appeased...
...the Reverse Cowgirl has returned.
(via warrenellis)
Posted by Groonk at 07:25 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Blogged, Sex
January 29, 2006
HOW TO: Video Podcast
Posted by Groonk at 01:55 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Podcast, Sex, Tutorials, Video
January 27, 2006
Jenny McCarthy can be Funny
I swear to god, who the fuck knew?!
Jenny McCarthy. Funny without being forced? That's just crazy talk.
That's a clip from some flick called Dirty Love which got basement ratings on IMDB. If you're into that kinda thing.
NSFW and all that.
(via the superficial)
Posted by Groonk at 11:15 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Sex, Video
January 19, 2006
Rocketboom, YEA
After a conversation with Pentacleus weeks ago, it occurred to me that not many folk know who Rocketboom's Amanda Congdon is.
Hey, Amanda. That photo just screams, "sex!" I'm sure that was the target. I just wanted you to know you hit it.
Full-on bullseye.
WATCH: 
Meet the sexy, geeky host that lives there.
Posted by Groonk at 03:57 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Podcast, Sex
January 18, 2006
Sexual Physics for the dirty minded massses
Theoretical physics + sex = a science lesson that anybody can understand.
Here are two of the Top 10 reasons why sex at the speed of light is not an advisable form of procreation:
7. Relativistic flaming semen:
In the unlikely event that a vaporised penis can perform ejaculation, then the relativistic semen will create enormous air resistance, burst into flames almost instantaneously, and generate enormous impact forces. These forces will be sufficient to pierce a small hole straight through a woman's lower torso, just like a speeding bullet, only incinerating the surrounding tissue as it passes through.
6. Time-dilated necrophilia:
Unfortunately, the woman will probably be dead before ejaculation anyway. According to the relativistic theory of time dilation, then if the man is to actually thrust in and out at a speed infinitesimally close to the speed of light, then from his point of view, his partner will be ageing extremely quickly, and will be long dead before he ejaculates. Legally, he will be committing necrophilia.
(the full answer)
(via monochrome)
Posted by Groonk at 02:26 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Science, Sex
Eat it raw
please mind the dentures
Discovered some time ago on that infernal thing called Livejournal. It makes me laugh most days I see it.
Posted by Groonk at 12:15 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Avatarem, Sex
January 17, 2006
Colin Farrell likes The Dirty Talk...Surpised?
--Colin Farrell to his former Playmate girlfriend Nicole Narain in the sex tape Marty Singer doesn't want us to see.
(via oh no they didn't)
Posted by Groonk at 11:56 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Sex
Naked Lady Taiko!
Oiled-up, glistening, and totally naked japanese women performing taiko.
Is it my birthday?
(via tokyo times)
Posted by Groonk at 04:11 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Only in Japan, Sex, Video
January 16, 2006
"Mostly, bukakkes are quiet."
Way back in February of 2004 I posted on Susannah Breslin's My, My American Bukkake Too in the old comics section.
I found myself thinking on Ms Breslin and wondering if she decided to do a sex blog again(she hasn't). I did find links to two of her comics on her Invisible Cowgirl site. My, My American Bukkake Too and My, My American Bukkake.
Read about the messy world of american bukakke. You know you want to.
Posted by Groonk at 07:24 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Comics, Sex
January 04, 2006
It would sell like hot cakes
old-school virtual reality
Found somewhere in the bowels of myspace.
Posted by Groonk at 02:41 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Avatarem, Sex
December 17, 2005
You've got AIDS!
Why not send that video of Peter Griffin singing his "You've got AIDS"(scroll down to download) song via email?
I could get any asshole friend to do that.
I mean, if you're gonna take the time to fuck somebody you can at least take the time, see them in person, and tell them that you truly "fucked" them.
E-mail sent through Web sites launched in Los Angeles and San Francisco is providing people with a free, sometimes anonymous, way to tell their casual sex partners they might have picked up more than they bargained for.
Los Angeles County health officials launched www.inspotla.org this week in a bid to reduce the rapidly rising spread of STDs by encouraging sexually active men and women to get tested.
"This is another opportunity for people to disclose STD exposure to partners because sometimes people don't always have that face-to-face opportunity, or that level of relationship," Karen Mall, director of prevention and testing at the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, said on Thursday.
"Partner disclosure is where we really have the opportunity to break the chain of HIV infection," Mall said.
(via 7d)
Posted by Groonk at 04:16 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Health, Research, Sex, Technology
December 13, 2005
Choking the cherry
Looking into DC's future, I spied a Vertigo title that intrigued me.
AMERICAN VIRGIN #1
Written by Steven T. Seagle, art by Becky Cloonan, cover by Frank Quitely.
YOU ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR FIRST TIME...
Adam Chamberlain is a 20-year-old youth minister, a best-selling author, and most important, the head of a rabid national virginity movement. But practicing virgin or not...Adam is about to lose it.
Just a few weeks shy of marrying the girl of his dreams -- the only woman God has said he can ever know sexually -- Adam's fate, future and sex life are cast in direct opposition with God's Word.
Like Y: The Last man, the series follows one man's dark quest into unknown territories -- geographically and emotionally. A shocking terrorist act casts Adam adrift in exotic locales not so easily managed by a slick image, a clever comeback or the Good Book. Adam is forced to confront head-on the very rifts we all feel between our carnal desires and whatever higher power we answer to.
Will Adam's first time be his last?
32 pages, $2.99, in stores on March 8.
(via comics continuum)
Posted by Groonk at 09:01 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Comics, Sex
The Sleeper WILL Awaken
Right now it's resting quite comfortably in its cozy:
That's right. Some "Mad Genius"(their words not mine) created a Cthulhu Dildo Cthozy and sold/is selling it on eBay.
(via dunc! via caitlin kiernan)
Posted by Groonk at 12:02 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex
December 06, 2005
The Bible's Totally Erotic and Available in Calendars
"There's a whole range of biblical scriptures simply bursting with eroticism," said Stefan Wiest, the 32-year-old photographer who took the titillating pictures.
Anne Rohmer, 21, poses on a doorstep in garters and stockings as the prostitute Rahab, who is mentioned in both New and Old Testaments. "We wanted to represent the Bible in a different way and to interest young people," she told Reuters.
"Anyway, it doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that you are forbidden to show yourself nude."
Bernd Grasser, pastor of the church in Nuremberg where the calendar is being sold, was enthusiastic about the project which is explained online at www.bibelkalender.de.
"It's just wonderful when teenagers commit themselves with their hair and their skin to the bible," he said.
Oh, I would've had photos but the site they offer up is totally blank.
(via 7d)
Posted by Groonk at 01:22 PM | Comments (2) | Ministry of Religion, Sex
December 01, 2005
They've got a Boner for Christmas
I swear i don't know why I'm posting this. Apparently plushie's have escalated their animal worship to include not only stuffed toys that have vaginal and anal openings but toys with Mr Happy's as well.
The sadness continues in The Erection Collection.
Photos of things to make your mother cry after the jump.
You sick bastards.
(via warrenellis, of course)
Meet Ding a Ling and Masturgator. I leave it to you to figure out which is which.
 does your mother... |
 ...know what you're doing? |
Posted by Groonk at 05:29 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex, Weird
November 13, 2005
Silly
(via DT)
Posted by Groonk at 02:20 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Comics, Funny, Sex
November 10, 2005
Rows of Nude Ladies Far as the Mouse can Scroll
Mise a Nu is an interesting/odd work by Reynald Drouhin. Be sure to mouse over the scrolling ladies:
(via DT)
Posted by Groonk at 02:54 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Flash, Sex
November 04, 2005
Fraction Found a Shocker
For those of you who don't know, learn about the Shocker.
(via matt fraction)
Posted by Groonk at 03:57 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Sex, Sport
October 20, 2005
Who wears short shorts?
I know nothing of Molly or what else she's selling but I'm definitely buying.
(via warren ellis)
Posted by Groonk at 02:16 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Marketing, Sex
October 18, 2005
iPod Video: The Point of View Porn
I need to put my mind in the gutter. That's where all the money and innovative ideas live. If I were a "gutter mind" the idea of making the new iPod video a POV porn enhancer would have been the first thing on my mind and I would have bought the website, gone to porn valley, assembled my ho's, made a couple of movies and been a bazillionaire.
Gutter-mind thoughts are the future.
Step 1 Download our Videos to your iPod through itunes 6
Step 2 Hold iPod at crotch level
Step 3 Watch our point-of-view (POV) video and feel like you're there!
(via wired cult of mac blog)
Posted by Groonk at 09:20 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex, Technology
October 17, 2005
War for Porn
This place http://www.nowthatsfuckedup.com/ sends porn to soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan in return for porno photographs.
Like these:
Posted by Groonk at 07:46 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex, War
October 05, 2005
1,000 Japanese women talk about sex
[...]
"I was right in the middle of ministrating him with my mouth and looked up to see that he'd dozed off," a 30-year-old nurse tells an-an.
Another woman, a 21-year-old college coed, adds that she reached her limit when "he wore my bra, put his boxers on his head and wanted to do it decked out like that."
(via mainichi)
Posted by Groonk at 03:07 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Only in Japan, Sex
September 20, 2005
The New Pornopacalypse
The FBI has decided to join the Bush administration's War on Porn and create a Porn Squad.
Among friends and trusted colleagues, an experienced national security analyst said, "it's a running joke for us."
A few of the printable samples:
"Things I Don't Want On My Résumé, Volume Four."
"I already gave at home."
"Honestly, most of the guys would have to recuse themselves."
This is a squad wanting to crack down on porn involving consenting adults.
Consenting adults, folks.
(via boingboing)
Posted by Groonk at 04:30 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Politics, Sex
September 16, 2005
Jessica Alba Makes Me Think Naughty Thoughts
The Superficial is a bad influence. they make me drink and smoke cigars. They force me to buy porn magazines in public and read it aloud in the park on Wholesome Family Sitting in the Park Day.
And they show me pictures like this:
I feel so dirty. Just like I did before. I am a dirty, filthy old man.
And The Superficial has even more photos of Jessica Alba lying about a beach in a bikini.
I am a sad, dirty, happy old man.
(via the superficial)
Posted by Groonk at 04:56 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex
August 27, 2005
12oz Pussy
Hilarious misadventures ensue when a man fresh from Japan and their many sex shop curiosities decides to "try out" his freshly bought can of vagina.
"oh, where's that funny beer can thing we got? Rob, you had it, right?" And everyone looks at me, and I just stare at them for a moment, and then say, "...I fucked it. I fucked it and I hated myself, and now it's gone." There was a slight pause, followed by uproarious laughter. The ridicule took months to subside.
(via boingboing)
Posted by Groonk at 10:10 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Blogged, Only in Japan, Sex
August 17, 2005
Porn Magazines will Outlast us All
What a wonderful gift for future generations.
Also kaolin, the shit that makes porn mags so glossy, is slightly radioactive.
Scientist Fabiano Ximenes, 31, dug through two Sydney dumps to find out how long wood and paper products survive in landfill sites.
He displayed a 1979 copy of the men's magazine Playboy which was in near mint condition, and said its thick wax coating could be the reason for its longevity.
"The best preserved was the pornography," Mr Ximenes said.
Behold the power of porn, and tremble.
(via boingboing)
Posted by Groonk at 03:51 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Research, Sex
August 16, 2005
Babes of Flickr
There are lots more flickrlicous babes to be found at the Babes of Flickr.
Posted by Groonk at 03:16 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Sex
August 14, 2005
Supervert
Download eLibraries of Georges Bataille and the Marquis de Sade.
(via badsignal)
Posted by Groonk at 07:07 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Books, Digital Share, Sex
August 09, 2005
70s Spanish One Sheets
Another Flickr set leads me to 1970s Spanish adult movie posters . Posters like The Erotic Adventures of Don Quixote and my personal favorite The Perversions of Wanda. You know where you're at with a title like that.
(via boingboing)
Posted by Groonk at 05:37 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of One Sheets, Sex
August 01, 2005
Kristen Bell: A sexy bit of alright
I took note of the fine-ness that is Kristen Bell after watching her in that Showtime flick Reefer Madness.
Since then I did my damndest to watch her show Veronica Mars. What I saw wasn't half bad. And the show was good too.
Yeah, I know. That joke's so old, it's got whiskers on it. I'll be snarfed if it ain't true.
(via ponzu)
Posted by Groonk at 03:50 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex
July 30, 2005
It's Christmas Already?
Check out the lady on the far left. Stepping off into oblivion.
(via yahoophotos)
Posted by Groonk at 06:20 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Photos2, Sex
July 26, 2005
Another Tool Unearthed
First a Chinese one, then a German one.
I think scientists just like looking for fake "junk".
[...]
The prehistoric "tool" was reassembled from 14 fragments of siltstone.
Its life size suggests it may well have been used as a sex aid by its Ice Age makers, scientists report.
"In addition to being a symbolic representation of male genitalia, it was also at times used for knapping flints," explained Professor Nicholas Conard, from the department of Early Prehistory and Quaternary Ecology, at Tübingen University.
"There are some areas where it has some very typical scars from that," he told the BBC News website.
Ouch!
(via bbcnews)
Posted by Groonk at 11:06 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of History, Science, Sex
July 01, 2005
WATCH: Blatant Boobies!
Louis XIV knows how to make a good video. Get a girl and have her topless throughout.
VH1 make a note.
MTV play a fucking video. Any fucking video. Your Aunt Sally's trip to see the World's Biggest Ball of Twine would suffice. As long as it involves moving pictures to today's tunes.
Louis XIV video done to "Paper Dolls" and housed on the Suicide Girls site.
(via eggradio)
Posted by Groonk at 02:11 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Music, Sex, Video
June 19, 2005
Pie is always nice, always
You know that Real Gilligan's Island commercial where "Ginger" and "Mary Ann" get into a cat fight over a picnic tables and get voered in pie and then have a wash-off under a gentle shower of water....together....on a beach setting?
TBS released an uncut version of that video on their site.
Merciful Zeus, that damn commercial almost made me tune in to the show. Talk about your strong marketing skills.
There are wallpapers too.
(via bestweekever)
Posted by Groonk at 01:12 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Marketing, Sex, Video
May 09, 2005
On Bai Ling
She was in Playboy recently and some blessed soul has digitized that image for us all.
grab her while she's hot
Sometime she's a little bit freaky for my tastes. But sometimes, just sometimes, she's a bit of alright.
There's also noise mentioning that her being in Playboy may have upset Lucas and got her cut from Revenge of the Sith.
I don't know George, she was a decent Mysterious Woman.
(via fleshbot and weblog: sex and fun)
Posted by Groonk at 12:37 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex
April 15, 2005
You Can Get Jenna Jameson Off
It's a video game called VirtuallyJenna...
The game has a deceptively simple goal: Bring Jenna to orgasm. You have several tools to help you achieve this, ranging from sex toys to male and female sex partners to a disembodied hand reminiscent of Thing from The Addams Family.You can dress Jenna in a limited selection of outfits (or nothing at all), pose her for solo or partner sex, and bring her into the studio for an intimate photo shoot.
It's not as easy to "win" as it sounds. Like real women, Jenna's arousal level rises and falls with little apparent connection to what you're doing.
...no...really.
(via wirednews)
Posted by Groonk at 08:40 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex
April 05, 2005
Oldest Porn Statue Found
Go figure, it was found in Germany.
Stone-age figurines depicting what could be the oldest pornographic scene in the world have been unearthed in Germany.The extraordinary find, at an archaeological dig in Saxony, shatters the belief that sex was a taboo subject in that era.
Until now, the oldest representations of sexual scenes were frescos from about 2,000 years ago.
(via warrenellis)
Posted by Groonk at 04:44 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of History, Sex
April 02, 2005
Hahahahaha!
Go, Jesus! It's your birthday!
look closer
Make no mistake. That's a hard core porn site with stickers and swag.
And remember, Jesus loves porn... this much.
(via 7d)
Posted by Groonk at 05:23 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Marketing, Sex
March 29, 2005
Everyday Nakedness
Blog of natural unmodified photos of females in the nude.
Some scary. Some not so scary. But all natural.. oh, yeah.
(via fleshbot)
Posted by Groonk at 03:42 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Blogged, Sex
March 28, 2005
Flickr Nekkidness
If you drop the word "nude" or "naked" in the Flickr postcard browser, you will be granted the sight of various naked bodies who exist in the Flickr community.
Keep in mind that you cannot control whose naked body appears.
You have been warned.
(via fleshbot)
Posted by Groonk at 11:33 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Apps, Sex
March 22, 2005
photo.net
Freaking wicked photos by some awesome an dsome not so awesome photographers.
I am totally fascinated by this photo of boats in a dry lake bed.
This one of a man in a boat ain't too shabby either.
Then, of course, there are the nudes. The lion's share of them are of naked ladies.
Absolutely hypnotic.
(via DT)
Posted by Groonk at 10:35 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Photos, Sex
March 09, 2005
All Lined Up
(via MedicMike)
Posted by Groonk at 04:10 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Sex
Ancient Chinese Dildoes... hah!
I love it when old sex-type things are found. Nice to know our ancestors were kinkier than we are.
Chinese media is changing very fast, and a lot of weird stuff makes it into Chinese newspapers, websites and even TV.
(via