March 18, 2008
You Should be Doing This
If you don't know of Terry Pratchett - shame on you.
Here is some insight on his strange, brilliant mind.
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
Terry Pratchett
(via making light)
Posted by Groonk at 12:28 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Digital Share, Quotables
January 21, 2008
Led Zeppelin is all about Kicking Doors
"When the door is cracked slightly, you don't just peep through -you kick it open,"
--Jimmy Page
Posted by Groonk at 02:26 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Music, Quotables
Bjork wants You to LOL More
"I'd like to see Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix walk down the red carpet at the MTV awards but I think they would just be ridiculed. There's just no room for this when it's so conservative."
(via ontd, theage.com.au )
Posted by Groonk at 01:55 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Music, Quotables
January 20, 2008
JJ Abrams Reflects on the Obvious
Abrams glanced upon something I mused on before walking into the CLOVERFIELD theater.
Stirring up uncomfortable feelings is not entirely without purpose for a monster movie, Abrams notes. It's a standard of the genre. "'Godzilla' came out in 1954 in the shadow of the bomb being dropped in Japan. Culturally, you had people living with this terror they had experienced - but in the guise of something absurd and preposterous. My guess is that it enabled people in Japan to have a catharsis."
Even though I had a few issues with CLOVERFIELD, I will say it ran circles around the hot mess known as 1998's GODZILLA.
Posted by Groonk at 09:19 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Movies, Only in Japan, Quotables
January 07, 2008
Graffiti Artist BANKSY Remains Unknown
I think Andy Warhol got it wrong: in the future, so many people are going to become famous that one day everybody will end up being anonymous for 15 minutes.--BANKSY
(via ontd, swindle magazine)
Posted by Groonk at 12:23 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Artist, Quotables
December 21, 2007
Man Finds Future Self Under Sink. Feels Really Good About It.
"Quite simply, I met myself there in the future and had a great time."
And managed not to ask himself how old he was or what date it is..er,was...er, will be. Also, he managed not to tell how he got back or to vid the surrounding area. But he did video himself with his future self.
Color me non-believing but intrigued by the video. For some reason, I feel I've seen this video before.
I'm not even trying to set up a joke there.
Well, maybe just a little.
UPDATE: Being curious I searched and found this thing is old. I guess I was too busy with my present to be bothered with his future at that time.
(via digg,5min life videopedia )
Posted by Groonk at 07:08 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Research, Timey Wimey, Video, Weird
December 17, 2007
Freema Agyeman. She's not Wrong
If you fish in the sea of random magazine/website interviews, you're bound to get a nibble on something worth a damn after a while.
But Agyeman was also the first black assistant in the programme's four-decade history.'It's an honour,' she says, 'but the flip-side of that is that you get labelled in a way that non-black actors never do. If we're still making comments about "the first black this..." in 50 years, then there is a problem.'
(via ontd)
Posted by Groonk at 04:41 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
December 15, 2007
Thoughts from "My Name is Not Richard"
It has to be in you a little bit, and you've got to have that passion to want to do it, and want to be better at it, and work hard at it and learn. That's what passion does, it makes you want to work and learn. You've also got to be committed to it, you can do all those things but if it's not in you, if it's not some type of gift then you probably won't get it.
Interview with Russell Sams aka Dick from RULES OF ATTRACTION. Well, more of a conversation really. The above part stuck out the most.
(via forces of good)
Posted by Groonk at 01:23 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Interviews, Quotables
Marilyn Manson Made Me Think a Little
"the less people know about you, the more they think you're a genius"
--Marilyn Manson
This was by way of an interview with "Richard" from RULES OF ATTRACTION.
(via forces of good)
Posted by Groonk at 12:21 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
December 11, 2007
5 Year Old Boy Kills Bear. Bear Nation Beyond Upset
Tre Merritt, a descendant of Davy Crockett, was hunting with his grandfather Mike Merritt when a black bear happened upon their stand."His 10th great-grandfather was Davy Crockett," Mike Merritt said. "And Davy supposedly killed him a bear when he was three. And Tre is five and really killed a bear. I really doubt if Davy killed one when he was three."
Mike Merritt was in the stand at the time but said Tre did it all by himself.
You've been stuck in the woods 7 days and need food, the zombie apocalypse has finally come, or you're on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney. Those are the only reasons a 5 year old child should be walking the woods with a loaded weapon.
And I'll bet you dollars to donuts Davy Crockett didn't have a high powered 21st century rifle when he "killed" his bear.
(via medicmike, espn outdoors)
Posted by Groonk at 05:12 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Quotables
November 27, 2007
Random Wisdoms from The Interwub
sometimes, i want to punch john mayer in the face. and sometimes, he makes me laugh.
Profound or pseudo-wise? You decide. I just know you can replace "John Mayer" with a lot of names both real and imaginery.
- Carson Daly
- Maxim
- Jerry Seinfeld
- Disney, Inc
- CHUCK
- The writers of 2nd season HEROES
- The Marquis de Sade
- Amy Winehouse
- Dr Gregory House
Play along at home if you dare.
(via ontd)
Posted by Groonk at 04:51 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Intertube Madness, Quotables
November 17, 2007
FILE UNDER: So Stupid it's Funny
"Magpies are the dive bombing gangsters' of the air!"
--Justin Timberlake
I wonder if the bird nation has developed a conspiracy to attack annoying celebrities at random instances. If so, they need to double time their actions.
Other less funny quotes are around. Birds, ready your beaks.
(via ontd)
Posted by Groonk at 12:03 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
November 12, 2007
How The Future Killed Television
You do know that you are living in the future right now? Damon Lindeloff sure does. He talks about how television is dying in his New York times article "Mourning TV"
Twenty percent of American homes now contain hard drives that store movies and television shows indefinitely and allows you to fast-forward through commercials. These devices will probably proliferate at a significant rate and soon, almost everyone will have them. They’ll also get smaller and smaller, rendering the box that holds them obsolete, and the rectangular screen in your living room won’t really be a television anymore, it’ll be a computer. And running into the back of that computer, the wire that delivers unto you everything you watch? It won’t be cable; it will be the Internet.This probably sounds exciting if you’re a TV viewer, but if you’re in the business of producing these shows, it’s nothing short of terrifying. This is how vaudevillians must have felt the first time they saw a silent movie; sitting there, suddenly realizing they just became extinct: after all, who wants another soft-shoe number when you can see Harold Lloyd hanging off a clock 50 feet tall?
The Lindelof article is a good read. I suggest you give it a go.
(via the new york times)
Posted by Groonk at 05:16 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Tee Vee
John Rogers Explains it All
John Rogers weighs in on the folks who think free market solves all problems.
Listen, I get it. You love free markets. So do I. I just know that they weren't designed by Jesus. They're not perfect, and sometimes you need a union not out of any high moral stance, but just to maintain fair business practices.To paraphrase a previous post -- I live with the tiger, I love it, but I respect its teeth and instincts. Stop asking why I don't just pet the kitty.
(via kung fu monkey)
Posted by Groonk at 04:00 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Writer's strike
October 19, 2007
The Honesty, I Admire. The Tenacity, Gives Me Pause
Retired General James "Spider" Marks, who has just been named a new national security adviser to Mitt Romney's campaign, asserted in a 2005 interview that he would readily torture prisoners to save a soldier's life or stop a terror bomb, saying: "I'd stick a knife in somebody's thigh in a heartbeat."
Granted, when I'm trapped in a dark alley surrounded by enemies ready
to pounce, I'd want this guy standing next to me.
But in the end, we should be better than that. Hell, at least we could try harder.
CNN Analyst TOM FOREMAN (voice-over): Polls have shown that more than 60 percent of Americans think torture can sometimes be justified. But here is the catch. Experts, including General Marks, are convinced with the vast majority of prisoners, it just doesn't work.
(via ontd p)
Posted by Groonk at 07:24 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Politics, Quotables, USA, War
October 01, 2007
George Takei Reminds Me Why I Continue to Blather on the Internet
Sort of. In a round about way. In a way I'm choosing to read it. Let's just say that.
Everything one does with gusto, there will be a payoff at some point in life.
--George Takei on his parents making him learn japanese when he was a child
(via ontd)
Posted by Groonk at 09:42 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
September 25, 2007
Bill Hader Learned that Neil Gaiman is a Rabbit's Foot
The best bits about this article are the parts on how Hader got work whenever he had a Gaiman book on his person. If have to have a four-leafed clover, I'd pick him too.
Extra thoughts: Seth Rogan gets points for being a comics geek. The article writer loses points for calling comic books and fantasy novels "juvenile regression."
Other than that, yeah, Neil Gaiman is a Luck Charm. Why not?
"I got all superstitious about it," he said on a recent stroll through the science fiction section of the Chelsea Barnes & Noble. "Like, when I have Neil Gaiman books around me, I just do better."
(via neil gaiman and new york times)
Posted by Groonk at 03:26 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
September 24, 2007
Man Decapitates Duck in Hotel. Eats it Like Sushi.
Scott D. Clark allegedly cornered the duck before grabbing it and decapitating it with his hands in front of a security guard and other onlookers.Mr Clark then said: "I'm hungry. I'm gonna eat it."
He was allegedly drunk, AP said.
Drunk?
Do tell.
(via digg and daily telegraph)
Posted by Groonk at 05:04 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Quotables, Research
August 15, 2007
James Bond is Stuck in the 60s
No duh, Mr Damon. The recent CASINO ROYALE was a good effort in renewing my Bond movie interest, but it's been boring before that. Not to mention silly and nonsensical.
"Bond is an imperialist and a misogynist who kills people and laughs about it, and drinks Martinis and cracks jokes," he told reporters.[...]
"The Bourne franchise is not about wearing Prada suits and looking at women coming out of the sea with bikinis on," Damon said. "It's about essence and truth, not frippery and surface."
Good job of pushing your movie. Extra points for using "frippery" in a sentence.
(via bbc)
Posted by Groonk at 02:26 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Marketing, Movies, Quotables
July 26, 2007
Nursing Home Cat Predicts Your Death
Or as Ponzu tells me, "finally a cat that's good for something."
PROVIDENCE, R.I. - Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in 25 cases, has led the staff to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means they have less than four hours to live."He doesn't make too many mistakes. He seems to understand when patients are about to die," said Dr. David Dosa...
[...]
The 2-year-old feline was adopted as a kitten and grew up in a third-floor dementia unit at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center. The facility treats people with Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease and other illnesses.
After about six months, the staff noticed Oscar would make his own rounds, just like the doctors and nurses. He'd sniff and observe patients, then sit beside people who would wind up dying in a few hours.
[...]
Most families are grateful for the advanced warning, although one wanted Oscar out of the room while a family member died. When Oscar is put outside, he paces and meows his displeasure.
(via buzzfeed)
Posted by Groonk at 02:44 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Quotables, Research
Nerd Prom 07 Mega Linkage
San Diego Comic Con has begun!
Links will gather here for those who could not make it this year. Those people like me.
Writer Rich Rohnston will get funny emails and texts:
http://markandrich.googlepages.com/sandiegodreaming
Most amusing one so far:
"26/07/07 01:22 EMAIL: Gaiman fans self harm because of their inner turmoil. Ellis fans self harm cos it's bitchin"
Warren Ellis will CRY about lack of Red Bull:
http://twitter.com/warrenellis
Photos will be shared:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/sdcc2007/pool/
I hear David Hewlett(SG: ATLANTIS' Dr McKay) has been convinced by Scfi.com People to twitter his experiences.
http://twitter.com/dhewlett
I bet round of beers that there will be "A Dog's Breakfast" whorebaggery.
More as I find them...
Posted by Groonk at 02:21 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Comics, Linkable, Quotables
July 17, 2007
Jon Lovitz Gains Forever Cool Points, Kicks Andy Dick's Ass
Mostly there's a lot of drama over the loss of their friend Phil Hartman. The meat of the matter is this:
According to witnesses, Lovitz then grabbed Dick by the hair and smashed his head into the bar several times, yelling, "I don't want to be in your movie! I don't want to be in your life!""All the comedians are glad I did it because this guy is an asshole," says Lovitz. "I'm not proud of it... but he's a disgusting human being."
If only I could have been in that bar last week. I've never seen Lovitz be more truthful.
(via dose.ca)
Posted by Groonk at 01:13 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
July 10, 2007
Cape Cod Man is No Sarah Silverman
"You say on your form that you're not a fan of homosexuals," Nickerson said."That I'm a racist," Ellis interrupted.
"I'm frequently found to be a liar, too. I can't really help it," Ellis added.
"I'm sorry?" Nickerson said.
"I said I'm frequently found to be a liar," Ellis replied.
"So, are you lying to me now?" Nickerson asked.
"Well, I don't know. I might be," was the response.
Ellis then admitted he really didn't want to serve on a jury.
( via ponzu and you can't escape civil service cnn)
Posted by Groonk at 08:37 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
July 05, 2007
The Melbourne City Council paid You to do What?
The warning came after the Melbourne City Council last night decided against resuming its former policy of paying private investigators to have sex in illegal brothels, to gather evidence of a breach of planning rules.
(via digg, theage.com.au)
Posted by Groonk at 04:13 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Sex
June 29, 2007
Truer Words were Never Spoken
Quick peek from my hidey hole:
co-worker on the iphone: "apple is cool, but i hate how everybody is all over their dicks"
--vrogy twitter
And back inside the hole for a little while.
Not for much longer, though.
Posted by Groonk at 04:11 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
June 02, 2007
A Little Girl Forced "Mike Seaver" to Tears
As I swung to the subject of God, a little Indian Buddhist girl stepped forward and said "So this is what you do now? You give people money so they'll stand here so you can brainwash them?!"
Little girl, I only call you "little girl" because I have no true or accurate description of what nationality you claim or which life philosophy you call your own, *you*, little girl, are *awesome*.
I hope you grow up and have an awesome life with awesome adventures and continue to tell others they are not as awesome as you.
For they clearly are not.
(via ontd and toasted pixel's guide to kirk cameron's new saviour site)
Posted by Groonk at 06:40 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Religion
May 25, 2007
July is for Reading
While everyone else has visions of horcruxes dancing in their heads. My mind is fixed on CROOKED LITTLE VEIN.
If Chuck Palahniuk was kidnapped, Raymond Chandler was resurrected, their DNA was spliced together, and the mad scientists responsible for those events wanted something to read on lonely nights in the lab, Crooked Little Vein would be the result.[...]
It’s all there in front of you, pulsing with strangeness and testing your stomach’s resolve. Crooked Little Vein is vintage Warren Ellis, and it’s time more people know just what that means.
Indeed, it is.
(via warrenellis.com, the inside flap)
Posted by Groonk at 03:38 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Books, Quotables
May 10, 2007
Bruce Willis Re-affirms Awesomeness Nominally Awesome, Trashes Michael Bay
I was troubled about bad-mouthing Michael Bay's TRANSFORMERS effort even before I watch the movie. It was uncomfortably fanboy, even for me. But Bruce Wills lets me know that I'm not being overzealous. Not one bit. And that my Michael Bay assumptions were pretty much on the mark.
"I would rather eat a live baby in front of my grandma than have Michael Bay direct a DIE HARD movie. I would rather go hunting with Dick Cheney than let that car engine in a human skin leave his satanic fingerprints on John McClane. In fact, this new PG-13 thing is the only part of ruining modern action movies that Michael Bay is not personally responsible for. The rest of it is all him. Don't even fucking say those words in the same sentence, you’re only gonna give them ideas for part 5. It's like saying Candyman in front of a mirror, that motherfucker will show up and snort John McClane's soul right in front of you and then piss it out on your shoes,"wrote Willis. "Would have ruined DH4. Few people will work with him now, and I know I will never work with him again."
--Bruce Willis
This would be the second quote on the blandness of movies these days(first quote was by Scott Wiper). The family friendly trend which is runing it for those of us who want R rated action every now and again. Hello, Mr Hollywood. Not everybody in the wide world has children or needs curse words cut and graphic violence tamed. Entertainment should rise above the age of 18 now and again.
(via iwatchstuff.com)
UPDATE: So Willis is not as awesome as I thought he was and I'm a little less awesome than that. Seems the striked bit was from some random AICN forum poster.
But because I like reading what that guy said so much, I'm only striking it and adding that Bruce Willis did not say the crazed ranting bits. Willis only said Bay would have ruined DH4, people won't work with Bay, and he'd never work with Bay.
In the long run, I think Bay came out better after the rantings of some crazed AICN forum guy.
Posted by Groonk at 01:27 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Movies, Quotables
May 02, 2007
Scott Wiper Talks THE CONDEMNED and the Hard-Boiled Action Movie
Scott Wiper's got a knack for the ahrd-boiled type of movie. The flicks that are over the top, but not in that Roger Corman type of way. Mostly in that John McClanekind of way. He entertained me with a flick(A BETTER WAY TO DIE) I saw on HBO, or Showtime, some time ago.
But I felt there was a vacuum as an action film, I don’t see any “Die Hard”s – rated R. “Lethal Weapon” – rated R. “48 Hours” – rated R. All I was seeing was these PG-13 action films made for $80 million and they have to entertain everyone from my two sisters to my mother. So when I first pitched how I would do this movie, I said, first and foremost rated R. It’s the whole essence. There’s a whole faction of people out there, and they’re not just men, and they’re disappointed with action films because they’re sugar coated.
--Scott Wiper
(via joblo.com)
Posted by Groonk at 07:55 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Interviews, Movies, Quotables
May 01, 2007
Secrets of the Red Light District Revealed
This week might be celebrity quote week. I haven't decided yet.
The following are two seperate bits on James Gunn's visit to the Red Light District in Amsterdamn. The first quote being about a prostitute by the name of Wet Pussy. Yup, Wet Pussy.
The second is from a prostitute named "Emma" and a sad/insightful interview he had with her.
She pulled on my arm, and tried to forcibly pull me into the little room. But I am powerful! Much stronger than a prostitute! I stood my ground.[...]
We like to think there's a great divide between "us" and "them", that there's something innately different about us. But the only thing that separates us is that one choice, that simple action. And ALL of us, if put in the right situation on the right day when we're in the right mood can make an unusual choice. As I spoke with Emma, "There but for the Grace of God go I" had true resonance.
(via the james gunn blog)
Posted by Groonk at 11:40 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Sex, World
April 30, 2007
Amy Winehouse Will Death-Choke You During Sex
"I was under for several seconds. I couldn't breathe and started freaking out. Then she pulled my head up. I was gasping for breath but Amy (Winehouse) carried on as if it was perfectly normal behaviour. I thought, ‘Wow, you've got b***s'."We did it three more times that night and again in the morning all over her place. It was a sign of things to come..."
Say what you want about Ms Winehouse, but the woman has an insanely strong singing voice.
And hell, if she asked, I wouldn't be saying no.
I'd simply invest in scuba gear.
(via ontd and some trashy british tabloid)
Posted by Groonk at 07:20 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Sex
April 25, 2007
Caitlan Kiernan Opens Blog Entry with Style
"Not having managed to die in my sleep, I screw up my courage and face another goddamn day."
Dunc sent that along and said it had to be the "most interesting opening line to a blog entry ever."
I tend to agree.
(via Dunc and greygirlbeast Kiernan)
Posted by Groonk at 11:46 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Just Freaking Neat, Quotables
April 23, 2007
The Vinyl Record Resurgence
NPR reports that there's a surge in vinyl records these days and that the usb turntable might be the cause of it.
"You hear people use adjectives like 'warmer' and 'more round.' And there are other things beside sound quality. People know what the song titles are. It's not like, 'I like track 5.' You put the needle on and let it play through -- not jump around. You have more of an intimate relationship with the music."
(via NPR and diesel sweeties)
Posted by Groonk at 12:39 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, Digital Decompression, Music, Quotables
April 21, 2007
Simon Pegg Shared a Secret with Princess Leia
"I was at the San Diego Comic-Con in 2004, promoting Shaun of the Dead and got in line to meet Carrie Fisher," Pegg recalls. "I told her that I used to kiss her picture every night before I went to sleep. She asked me if confessing this made me feel better. I said it did."
Pegg also reflects on his love of pop culture and a Star Wars prequel movie idea that makes me positively beam.
(via ontd and starwars.com)
Posted by Groonk at 03:23 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, Interviews, Quotables
April 18, 2007
Gillian Anderson Curses Up an Insightful Interview
Gillian Anderson, oh how I've missed thee. IN the following, she talks a bit about her new film Straightheads.
Anderson sits and regards me, a shade suspiciously, through unblinking cornflower-blue eyes. 'I think it is a very poignant comment on the dilemma women find themselves in,' she says. 'And not just women. It's as though people increasingly feel that the only way they can vent their anger and frustration at their powerlessness to do anything about what's going on is through violence.'
'But isn't it just saying that revenge is not only desirable, but even necessary?'
'No!' says Anderson. 'It's not saying that at all. My character is completely f—ed by the end. Emotionally, I mean. She's not redeemed in any way by what she does.'
By now Anderson, who's famously combustible, is already starting to smoulder round the edges. 'I don't understand why you're asking me this. I mean, in the film Man on Fire why didn't anyone ask Denzel Washington what it was like to stick a bomb up someone's arse and then explode it?'
'I have no idea,' I say truthfully.
The rest of the interview is just as boss. Although I find it suspect when an actor bad-mouths television. Especially when television was the means to their success.
(via ontd, stella magazine)
Posted by Groonk at 06:06 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Interviews, Movies, Quotables
April 13, 2007
I Think I Chatted-Up Halle Berry
"I have gone online before in search of anonymity and an attempt to leave celebrity out of it and just have a normal chat," the actress told the BBC.
"I just never disclosed that I was Halle Berry." But people she chatted with did not believe her when she revealed her true identity, she said.
[...]
"They were like: 'Right, sure, get out of here.' They didn't really believe me at that point. So chatting hasn't gone that well for me."
Posted by Groonk at 05:53 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
April 12, 2007
I Might Never have Liked Her
"I drink moderately, I've tried drugs. I do like weed. I have a different outlook on marijuana than America does."
-- Kirsten Dunst
What a fucking silly thing to say. And exactly something you expect to hear from a pothead.
(via popbitch.com)
Posted by Groonk at 07:33 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
April 11, 2007
Andy Hurley'd Rather Read Comics than Party
"You really believe Alan Moore's casting spell on you when you read what he writes."
--Andy Hurley, Fall Out Boy drummer
(via warrenellis.com)
Posted by Groonk at 07:04 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Comics, Flickrlicious, Quotables
April 08, 2007
The Typography of PULP FICTION
Bloody marvelous this is:
HI RES version here.
(via texted YouTube and jarrat moody )
Posted by Groonk at 12:08 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Art, Movies, Quotables, Video
March 28, 2007
More Celebrity Shenanigans
"I was a little bit drunk myself but felt something brush my breast. I thought it couldn’t be the future king... "
Michael Jackson is in discussions about creating a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to roam the Las Vegas desert...
[...]
It has now been claimed that his plans include an elaborate show in Vegas, which would feature the giant Jacko striding around the desert, firing laser beams.
If built, the metal monster would apparently be visible to aircraft as they come in to land in the casino capital.
It is the centre-piece of an elaborate Jackson-inspired show in Vegas, according to Andre Van Pier, the robot's designer.
[...]
(silliness found here, here, and here)
Posted by Groonk at 12:08 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, Quotables, Weird
March 11, 2007
Finnish MP Embraces Insanity and Klingonese on Website
"Some have thought it is blasphemy to mix politics and Klingon," said Jyrki Kasvi, an ardent Trekkie. "Others say it is good if politicians can laugh at themselves."
(via yahoo news)
Posted by Groonk at 10:43 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
February 28, 2007
Quote of the Friggin Decade
The entire "article" is HI-fucking-LARIOUS. Alien-loving sex-fiends seem to go through a ton of trouble to hide their perversions behind alien abduction fantasies.
Who then was the being whose blond hair inexplicably became wrapped around Peter Khoury's penis?
(via warren ellis and canada. no shit. canada.)
Posted by Groonk at 09:01 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Weird
January 17, 2007
"Fantastika" will Shag Your Wife Rotten
Today's word is russian.
* In clicking around, I discover a word. Fantastika. Fantastika appears to be the Russian word for speculative, slipstream or science fiction. Isn't that a gorgeous word? Fantastika. Much better than fantastique. Fantastique is arch. Fantastika is spiky.* "What do you write?" "I write FANTASTIKA. And I just shagged your wife until she saw God. Get away from me now, shitbreath."
--Warren Ellis
(via another Bad Signal "Brain Dump 3", the internet jesus amuses me no end)
Posted by Groonk at 08:58 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Grammar, Just Freaking Neat, Quotables, Research
January 11, 2007
And a Thousand Birds Fell From the Sky
THOUSANDS of birds have fallen from the skies over Esperance and no one knows why. Is it an illness, toxins or a natural phenomenon? A string of autopsies in Perth have shed no light on the mystery.All the residents of flood-devastated Esperance know is that their "dawn chorus" of singing birds is missing.
The main casualties are wattle birds, yellow-throated miners, new holland honeyeaters and singing honeyeaters, although some dead crows, hawks and pigeons have also been found.
Wildlife officers are baffled by the "catastrophic" event, which the Department of Environment and Conservation said began well before last week's freak storm.
On Monday, Esperance, 725km southeast of Perth, was declared a natural disaster zone.
[...]
Michelle Crisp was one of the first to contact the DEC after finding dozens of dead birds on her property one morning.
She told The Australian she normally had hundreds of birds in her yard, but that she and a neighbour counted 80 dead birds in one day. "It went to the point where we had nothing, not a bird," she said. "It was like a moonscape, just horrible.
(via the australian)
Posted by Groonk at 04:02 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Weird, World
January 10, 2007
Wherein You Find Links that May be of Great Use
And all of them regarding Neil Gaiman. Imagine that.
The Quotable Neil
"Well, yes, you'd ask my permission first. And then I'd say no, but I'd add that if you want to do a web page of quotes that you've collected that you like, I'd be fine with that and happily link to it. --Neil Gaiman 11/29/05"
Read Yourself Raw's: RECOMMENDED BY... NEIL GAIMAN
Neil Gaiman is one of the top writers in modern comics. He is the creator/writer of the award-winning horror-weird series Sandman, and the graphic novel's Mr Punch, Violent Cases and Signal To Noise. He is also a best-selling novelist with American Gods and his children's novel Coraline both enjoying enormous critical success.
This pleasant bit of nostalgia from this fellow at COMICS SHOULD BE GOOD(which includes reference to a Riddler story that was written by Gaiman.
Then, two years ago, my parents drove out to Arizona for Christmas and brought some more. Now, the last two long boxes have arrived, and I'm in nerd heaven. These are comics I loved back in the day, mind you, but I haven't read them in 12 long years. Some of them suck, obviously, because I'm not perfect, but it's still nice to see them. I can't wait to dig into them when I have a chance. Here are the highlights of the two lost long boxes, exiled for so long in a closet in Plumstead Township, PA
(via neil gaiman journal)
Posted by Groonk at 11:46 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Blogged, Books, Just Freaking Neat, Quotables
Second Life Enjoys the Attention of Writers
Warren Ellis will be writing a weekly column on SL for Reuters.
“Second Life is not only the biggest digital art installation in the world, but potentially the most radical shift yet in the way communities are formed online, and possibly also the germ of the next great operating system,” Ellis said. “It’s not only a place where people get as strange as they can, but an incubator for the future.”“As a writer who deals with both the strangeness of people and the state of the future, Second Life is like a lab for me,” he added.
That shot through the internet back in Dec 2006. Ellis' first column is up and waiting to be read.
Another Second Life column by Joel Stein talks about meeting people and getting a free penis. I suppose that makes more sense to Second Lifers. But it is weird no matter how you think on it.
(via second life, bad signal, and time online)
Posted by Groonk at 08:24 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, Digital Decompression, Quotables
December 14, 2006
Phyllis Diller Amused My Soul
"Look, if it's a little old lady, I get the role," she says, breaking into that famous Diller laugh, the one that sounds something like AHHH! AHHH! AHHH AHHH!
Still, she has had to turn down some roles because they were too big and required more work than she could handle.
"I have energy, but I don't have lasting energy," says Diller, who had a pacemaker installed after a near-fatal heart attack in 1999. "I could do maybe two hours, but beyond that I can't. And you have to know your limitations."
(via mywaynews and 7d)
Posted by Groonk at 10:26 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
December 03, 2006
Where the Bloody Hell are They?
Well:
Booboo's stealing food.
Madonna's stealing babies.
Bill Murray's washing your dishes.
Found in and around ONTD.
Posted by Groonk at 11:26 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Avatarem, Quotables
George Clooney is a Sneaky Drunk
I find comfort in the fact that Clooney is out there dumping excess shots in plants while DeVito is the hard charger:
"It wasn't like we were out drinking. We were at a restaurant, sitting down, drinking. I was in bed by 11:30 at night and I woke up at, you know, 7 (a.m.) and I was still drunk (laughs). ... It was a brutal night."[...]
When Lauer asks Clooney how much was consumed, he replies: "A lot. ... I got to the point where I was dumping the shots into, ah, you know, a plant next to me and, um, I don't think ... I don't think Danny saw me do that."
(via ONTD and aol news, of all things)
Posted by Groonk at 11:19 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
November 16, 2006
Fergie is Selling Tickets on Herself
That means she thinks an awful lot of her overrated ass.
Fergie, the visually disturbing white girl from the Black Eyed Peas, says that anybody who insults her voice is insulting God. She tells Vibe magazine:
Posted by Groonk at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
November 08, 2006
Emma Thompson is a Bit of Alright
Taken from and interview she did at Newsweek:
Do you get upset when you see all these skinny young actresses?
I can't bear it. When I come to L.A. next week I'm planning to wear very tight dresses that emphasize my behind enormously and sashay around, wiggling my large bottom, saying, "This is normal and what it should be like."
Posted by Groonk at 10:33 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Interviews, Quotables
October 19, 2006
Lance Bass Saves lives
Skimming through YouTube revealed to me that Lance Bass won a Visibility Award from the Human Rights Campaign.
Watching the HRC national dinner video informed me that his People cover appearance saved a man's life.
If I say anything snarky or sarcastic about this I'm gonna seem like a complete and heartless asshole aren't I?
Can't have that.
(via humane-ish YouTube)
Posted by Groonk at 04:02 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Video
October 10, 2006
Rep. Frank Lasee says, "First Arm all the Teachers
I've not met a teacher I'd trust with a gun.
I've also met few teachers I'd trust with a book and a room filled with hungry minds. But that's neither here nor there.
"All options should be on the table," he said, including "encouraging teachers and other school officials to carry firearms."
(via The Colbert Report"10-9-06" and Wisconsin State Journal)
Posted by Groonk at 02:09 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
October 04, 2006
Let's Look Back to World War I
--British Army Capt. S. Sassoon, July 1917
Posted by Groonk at 04:46 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, War, World
October 03, 2006
George Clooney is a Cunning Bastard
Clooney's plan to thwart the paparazzi? Get more ass than a toilet seat.
And by ass I mean dating.
I think.
"People would still buy the magazines, they'd still buy the pictures, but they would always go, 'I don't know if these guys were putting us on or not.'"
That's it George, keepem guessin.
(via myway and 7d)
Posted by Groonk at 01:09 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
September 20, 2006
Zhang Forgot to Let Sleeping Pandas Lie
So many odd/surreal quotes in here. It's difficult to keep up.
The panda, who was asleep, was startled and bit Zhang, 35, on the right leg, it said. Zhang got angry and kicked the panda, who then bit his other leg. A tussle ensued, the paper said.
"I bit the fellow in the back," Zhang was quoted as saying in the newspaper. "Its skin was quite thick."
[...]
This next part uneases me:
I think it comes from being an American. If I do something wrong my government seeks to "press charges" or "put me under arrest." Or if you're the current President, you have that lovely option of secret prisons scattered about the world.
"Considering punishing him," has that extra wicked ring to it. It makes whatever government that says it turn instantly into a scolding parent ready to lock you in your room or run into the yard and pick a switch and it better be a good strong switch or you're really gonna get it then.
(via 7d)
Posted by Groonk at 04:22 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Quotables, Weird, World
September 19, 2006
Scarlett Johansson is a Curvy Wench
That's ok though cause she fine as wine. Hot as snot. Deliciously luscious.
And maybe a wee bit haughty.
And, given the chance, she'd like to trade lives with President Bush. "Whose life would I like to step into for the day? The president's. I could probably get some things done in the Oval Office."
(Scarlett Johansson news link via 7d)
---------------------------------------------
And other remarkable quotes:
(news link via 7d)
That's what Hu said.
...
Read the article and you will laugh...damnit.
---------------------------------------------
(via boingboing)
The article goes on to mention that murder suspects often claim spirits tricked them into killing. Many people still believe in black magic in Nigeria.
Posted by Groonk at 02:31 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
August 28, 2006
To Be "Spider Jerusalem" is an Honor
Geek tech gossip site Valley Wag created a new award in honor of Transmet's Spider Jerusalem. They say, "It's hard to make a world of chips and software exciting without sounding like a Wired cub reporter or a BusinessWeek bubble-blower."
The first award goes to Wall Street Journal's Jason Fry. "He sums up the frustration of so many former tech news fans when he introduces a story about private space travel by lamenting the fall of the brave space-scientist archetype."
Spider Jerusalem award: The best blurb in journalism
C'mon, kid: Your square-jawed rocket engineers of future histories past are now tattooed, pierced software engineers coding social-networking sites.
--Jason Fry "Wall Street Journal"
(via warren ellis)
Posted by Groonk at 03:02 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Blogged, Quotables, Technology
August 16, 2006
Metal Wolf Chaos is the Heart of Justice that Loves America
Metal Wolf Chaos, a video game made in Japan. What is it about? I'll tell ya.
The President of the US has multi-facted omnidirectional power armor. His name is Michael Wilson. The vice President has equally multi-facted power armor. His name is Richard Hawk. The waters in The Mall part and from the middle rises Air Force One, super charged and ready to dispense justice.
*glurp*
That was me choking on a little bit of awesome that bubbled up from my stomach.
Other bits of game-awesome that I still taste in my mouth.
Woman: "At least his misreporting is consistant."
President: "As long as the city is safe, who cares?"
(via powerman Dunc!, some japan loving blog and "it loves you there" You Tube
Posted by Groonk at 06:45 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Only in Japan, Quotables, Video
July 24, 2006
Mako was the "Godfather of Asian-American Theater"
And now, he is gone.
Mako Iwamatsu 1933 - 2006
In the early days of his acting career, when most roles offered to Asian American actors were caricatures or stereotypes, Mako took just such a part and used it to open the doors of Hollywood and Broadway to others.
In the 1966 film "The Sand Pebbles," he played the Chinese character Po-han, who spoke pidgin English, called the white sailors in the movie "master," and treated them as such. But through the power of his acting, Mako transformed Po-han and compelled the audience to empathize and identify with the engine-room "coolie."
The portrayal earned Mako an Academy Award nomination, which he used to continue his push for more and better roles for Asian American actors.
Mako, who in 1965 co-founded East West Players, the nation's first Asian American theater company, died Friday of esophageal cancer at his home in the Ventura County town of Somis. He was 72.
"What many people say is, 'If it wasn't for Mako there wouldn't have been Asian American theater,' " said Tim Dang, current artistic director of East West Players, based in the Little Tokyo district of Los Angeles. "He is revered as sort of the godfather of Asian American theater."
[...]
"Of course we've been fighting against stereotypes from Day One at East West," Mako said in a 1986 interview with The Times. "That's the reason we formed: to combat that, and to show we are capable of more than just fulfilling the stereotypes — waiter, laundryman, gardener, martial artist, villain."
The company's mission soon expanded to include training writers. "Unless our story is told to [other] people, it's hard for them to understand where we are," Mako said.
Mako was in tons of character roles as well as the big ones. He also did voice overs on am myriad of shows. Ones that I have seen being Avatar's Uncle Iroh, Samurai Jack's Aku. He made those characters more than just ink and cels. I can't see anyone else replacing his work.
(via la times)
Posted by Groonk at 01:48 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, Quotables
June 20, 2006
Paris Hilton is the New Michael Jackson
I'm feeling a lack of the science groove lately. It'll soon pass.
--Paris Hilton has a Neverland-style menagerie of animals in her back garden
Bunches more odd interesting inane celebrity quotables after the jump.
Update: The woman travels with a monkey, a tiger and some ferrets. She takes them with her on trips. I do not lie(via The Superficial). She's blown past Michael Jackson and gone straight to...I'm not sure where she's gone to, I only know the direction scares me.
(via ONTD)
"For me, it would have been, like, my cargo pants in the woods--pot luck, everybody brings a sandwich and throws out a blanket."
-Soon-to-be-married Desperate Housewives star Marcia Cross’ ideal wedding scenario
"I was gonna go with Shaq Black but then Shaq moved to Miami, so no dice."
-Jack Black considered naming his newborn after his favorite basketball player, Shaquille O'Neal, but that changed when O'Neal left Black’s beloved L.A. Lakers for the Miami Heat
"Gwyneth Paltrow put me on to it. It's the best parenting tool, because you can use it during a scene and no one will notice."
-Meryl Streep uses her Blackberry phone to multitask and organize thanks to advice from actress/mom Paltrow
"Have I ever been totally and completely intimidated by another person? Yes, my husband's mother."
-Madonna, on Guy Ritchie’s mom
"I love punk rock because it's honest and there's a lot of feeling behind it. Bands like The Clash and Matchbox 20 are great."
-Angelina Jolie uses “punk” rock to help prepare for a movie scene
"She's got a great sense of humor. She's the best. What you see is what you get. She's genuine, honest and down-to-earth."
-Vince Vaughn, on Jennifer Aniston
"She's 28-years-old, a real estate investor, and, apparently, doesn't read the paper."
-David Spade, poking fun at Charlie Sheen’s new girlfriend
"Acting against her was like taking a cold bath of terror every day. I was always ready to wet my pants."
-Anne Hathaway, on working with Meryl Streep for upcoming movie The Devil Wears Prada
Posted by Groonk at 01:55 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
May 19, 2006
Ian McKellen made me laugh
Broadcasting from the Cannes Film Festival, Lauer addressed the cast:
"People wanted this to say 'Fiction fiction fiction!' How would you have all felt if there was a disclaimer at the beginning of the movie? Would it have been okay with you?"
McKellan went on to say he found the Bible "somewhat preachy" and called the ending "a bit of a downer."
Gandalf/Magento gets cool points from me.
(via oh no they didn't)
Posted by Groonk at 02:06 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Religion
April 17, 2006
Do or do not...there is no try
-Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, "Mindfulness in Plain English"
Think on that and reflect.
(via medicmike)
Posted by Groonk at 02:32 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Quotables
April 13, 2006
Tom Cruise Talks about Sex...
...and the world laughs its fool-head off at all the unintentional funny.
Like sex without love being all 'yech'.
Yes, non-committal hot-monkey lovin' is "yech" to the man once known as Maverick:
Sex, he says, "is about the connection. Great sex is a by-product, for me, of a great relationship, where you have communication and it's an extension of that. Where it's just ... free. And that's how it should be. It's spectacular. If you're not in good communication with your partner, it sucks."
When I read that, I got the distinct image of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley french kissing on stage at that awards show back in the 90s. I can't clearly say why that happened. Just that it did.
He's a mind-taker *ooo weeee ooo*:
[...]
"I just picked something up. And I knew at that moment she was pregnant. 'Cuz I notice things in people."
The best one of the bunch:
The rest are here. The good parts bolded.
(via oh no they didn't)
Posted by Groonk at 07:50 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Quotables
March 15, 2006
Loveline: Saving the "babies"!
Hello America.
Once again I can access Loveline. Once again I hear all your sexual functions/disfunctions. I know about your vaginusmus. Your multiple orgasmic "problems".
The Loveline Podcast was revealed to me thanks to 7d. All MP3 downloadable. Current episodes available via iTunes.
I hear your filthy secrets America...and I am intrigued, horrified...and generally entertained.
Keep calling the show, America.
Keep me woefully entertained.
Groonk
P.S. If you don't stop eating the fish, the smell will be noticeable....down there(Rainn Wilson & B.J. Novak from The Office know what I mean).
P.P.S. The Unofficial Loveline Quote Archive kicks all sorts of ass.
Posted by Groonk at 01:16 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Just Freaking Neat, Podcast, Quotables, Sex
January 21, 2006
Celebrities like to hear themselves talk
A hat trick of diggable celebrity quotes:
-- Globe winner Mary-Louise Parker, to the cast and crew of her Showtime series Weeds
-- Golden Globe nominee Jason Lee, on the red carpet
-- Sandra Oh, upon winning a Globe for Grey's Anatomy
All equally amuse and stand on their own merit. And all three celebrities don't irk me in one way or another.
(via oh no they didn't)
Posted by Groonk at 01:53 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
January 17, 2006
Colin Farrell likes The Dirty Talk...Surpised?
--Colin Farrell to his former Playmate girlfriend Nicole Narain in the sex tape Marty Singer doesn't want us to see.
(via oh no they didn't)
Posted by Groonk at 11:56 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Sex
January 15, 2006
Action as suspense
--John Rogers
Posted by Groonk at 04:24 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
Portable culture, for societies on the go
Ellis on why the manga format is an important and good format to use.
(via bad signal)
Posted by Groonk at 12:59 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Research
January 04, 2006
Whatever happened to the magic?
We're all children when we go into the cinema. The actors stand four times our height and speak louder than we can. We hand over our cash to be told terrible and wonderful things, and to see all kinds of magic.
--Internet Jesus
I long for the days that movies were gods and they strode upon the earth seeking the places where ant-humans gathered in the most plentiful numbers. The movie-gods would settle on that spot, wow the bejesus out of us and be gone as quickly as they came.
(via the eternally divine Internet Jesus)
Posted by Groonk at 02:25 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Marketing, Quotables
December 21, 2005
Mike Rowe: Apprentice to all and an especially funny guy
Mike Rowe, you know that Dirty Jobs guy on Discovery Channel, shared quotes/advice he got from the Fonz(eyyyyy!) and a guy named Travis McGee(I'm guessing that's who he's talking about).
--Mike Rowe
I'm hip to both of those. I'm not remotely famous or near being on any TV, but I can say that reading will keep you up on things.
As for the second quote, well that's rather obvious isn't it?
Posted by Groonk at 07:16 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
December 19, 2005
MUSIC: West Indian Girl
An interview with Mariqueen Maandig West Indian Girl's the band members:
god… I don’t know., you tell me… since you’re pouting at me and pressuring me for an answer I suppose I’ll say an easy going sensuality that was missing from the whole ensemble… that and I have a powerful set of pipes. Oh yeah... and I have a vagina. Awesome.
I like the cut of her jib.
As for their music, it's kinda dreamy and righteous. That's working for me.
(via medicmike)
Posted by Groonk at 08:39 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Artist, Music, Quotables
Random Quotes Generator
Random quotes generated for The Big Lebowski, Jackie Brown, Kill Your Boyfriend, Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Spaced, Velvet Goldmine, and some tool named JC Chasez.
Posted by Groonk at 04:29 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
December 13, 2005
On the batmobile and the man who drives it for money
I resisted posting this for long enough:
If you follow the link you will find that a man named Cliff Young, who bears a spitting image to Adam West, has taken to driving a 1960s replica of the batmobile around town for kicks and money. He even has a Boy Wonder.
Of course he has a website: cyproductions.com
Count the ways that ain't right.
(via warren ellis)
Posted by Groonk at 12:17 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Comics, Quotables
December 06, 2005
It Sings to Me
The lyrics do.
"One pill makes you larger,
and one pill makes you small.
And the ones that mother gives you
don't do anything at all.
Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall."
--"White Rabbit" Jefferson Airplane
Posted by Groonk at 04:33 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Music, Quotables
December 05, 2005
Life's a Funny Thing...
...when a screenwriter puts into three sentences what I couldn't express in three paragraphs:
Rady: Spirituality is not religion. Religion divides people. Belief in something unites them.
"Flight of the Phoenix"
This one I came across in Google's daily quotes section. it was too good not to forget:
-- Tom Wolfe
Posted by Groonk at 03:01 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables, Religion
Quotes from Babylon 5
JMS is pushing his merchandise on Cafe Press. This time in the form of quotes from the damn cool sc fi epic Babylon 5.