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September 29, 2006
The Return to True Journalistic Commentary?
Oh my god. When did this air on TV and why hasn't it been burning up the internet yet?
Keith Olbermann defended President Clinton's recent(and just) actions and said some very frank words about the current president.
Forgive my ignorance but who is this Olbermann fellow and why is he working so hard to be my new hero?
I'm still dizzy that this made it to air.
I need to sit down.
And watch it again. I swear, I may never tire of watching that.
(via warren ellis)
Posted by Groonk at 11:43 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Just Freaking Neat, Politics, USA, Video
September 28, 2006
Stephen Colbert is Coming to Colbert County*
Sweet. Maybe this is my chance to become Stephen's new black friend.
A Groonk can dream.
He said the crew wants the museum's grand opening to be portrayed as a big deal, possibly even including a local high school band and cheerleaders.
"They are interested in spotlighting the whole town," Shoemaker said
I hear Colbert will not be there but damnit, I will be recognized...somehow.
* For those unfamiliar with Alabama geography. There lies within this "beautiful" state's borders a county named Colbert(hard 'T' ending). Stephen Colbert(no 'T' ending) plans to make use of it in a show being taped on Oct. 4th.
Posted by Groonk at 04:14 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Alabama, Funny
Facts, Books and Shadowy French Names
A research paper for class revealed two things to me.
1) Alibris had a good portion of used books that I needed on the cheap.( Originally posted here in April 2004)
2) The Library Thing would have been a handy thing if only I had visited the thing a couple of weeks beforehand.
LibraryThing is an online service to help people catalog their books easily. You can access your catalog from anywhere—even on your mobile phone. Because everyone catalogs together, LibraryThing also connects people with the same books, comes up with suggestions for what to read next, and so forth.
3) The word "silhouette" was born from frenchman Etienne de Silhouette's name around the time of Madame de Pompadour.
4) I'm lucky that I'm an English major and not a math major.
Posted by Groonk at 04:00 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Books, Research
September 27, 2006
The Earth as it is from Saturn
This is a shot from Cassini in orbit around Saturn. What is the pale blue dot, you ask?
That's Earth.
(via warren ellis)
Posted by Groonk at 10:11 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Science
September 26, 2006
2,000 Year Old Supernova Leftovers Found
"I think it is very interesting that we can now say with some confidence, but not absolute certainty, that RCW 86 is the remnant of A.D. 185," said Jacco Vink of the University of Utrecht, the Netherlands.
(via cnn news)
Posted by Groonk at 02:47 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Science
Japan has a Tongue Twisting Game Show that Slaps the Crap Out of Your Balls...
...or "Why don't we have this Show in America?"
Their pain makes me laugh.
(via Dunc)
Posted by Groonk at 01:35 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Only in Japan, Video
Uwe Boll Likes to Suckerpunch People and Make Ass-Stupid Movies
All I can say is, I want my shot at that hack, too. Give me a couple of his movies to get a good murderous rage going and have the DVD rental cost come straight from my bank account for that extra hit of bloodlust.
That bitch will go down before the last bell is done ringing.
Donde esta Uwe?
Uwe esta DOWN!
He said Boll, 41, had told him it was just a joke, a public relations stunt.
Horror-movie journalist Chris Alexander became my new hero with this move:
And what in hell is up with Kristanna Loken? She's too hot to be spending time with that waste of art, Boll.
(via Dunc)
update: my god. There's video of the fight on gloriously sinful YouTube.
Uwe vs Lowtax
Lowtax interviewed after his beatdown
Posted by Groonk at 01:19 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Marketing, Movies, Weird
Tom Cruise, R Kelly, and John Travolta are still in Stan's Closet
Back in the sunny days of May, the South Park "Trapped in the Closet" episode was released onto the YouTube pasture and set to graze freely with all the other copyrighted cows.
Last I looked, the cow tippers of justice had snuck onto the field and shoved all the "closet" eps off the field.
Dirt re-found "Trapped in the Closet" grazing on a new, smaller, range. It was there, grazing amongst the other animated comedy greats.
I'm done with cow vagueries. Go WATCH the episode.
(via Dirt)
update: While catching up on a week and a half of unwatched Rocketboom, I noticed that they reported on said site www.dailymotion.com yesterday.
I didn't have to be vague at all. All that cow referencing for nothing. The Man is gonna come down on them sooner than later so watch what you can while you can.
Posted by Groonk at 01:03 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Digital Share, Just Freaking Neat, Video
September 25, 2006
Nobody's Watching is all Over the Damn Place
Look.
Over there!
You see that?
Yeah... that! it's those Nobody's Watching guys. You remember them, right?
They were all over the damn Emmy's and I didn't even watch the Emmy's. But I saw them there.
Isn't that weird?
Nobody's Watching that new show "Til Death" could have easily been me on any given night watching some trite shit that everyone else laughs their ass off at and I simply don't get why they think it's funny...I mean who are those Hollywood guys to tell me what "is" and "is not" funny, I'll tell you this for nothing...I don't care how many times you throw that "applause" sign up or drop in the super sophisticated Laugh Track 5000XXXL, I will not find your dumb ass "must see shows" funny until they make funny METAL.
(via NW Mentos(RECOMMENDED), NW Emmy's, NW Groonk, NW "Til Death" (full 30 minute review), NW "TIl Death" (abridged) and Nobdy's Watching.tv)
Posted by Groonk at 02:52 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Just Freaking Neat, Video
300 Promo Trailer will Bash Your Face to Pieces
Holy. Damn.
This 300 promo trailer, that's been up for some time, will bash your face in, reshape the errant pieces, and re-crush you under its severely pissed off Spartan heel.
All that means I no longer have to rely on Gladiator to satisfy my bloodthristy heroic action needs.
I hope the thing turns out as good as the promo.
(via iwatchstuff and headcrushing youtube)
UPDATE: I replaced the dead YouTube embed with the very much alive Google Video embed.
Posted by Groonk at 01:22 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Just Freaking Neat, Movies, Trailers
The Evil of Two Lessers
I finally know where my vote's going in 2008.
This one's just silly. How can the same being hold two offices? It's riduculous, I say!
Re-damn-diculous.:
(via jmsnews and cthulhu press)
Posted by Groonk at 12:41 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Marketing, Politics
September 24, 2006
Another Day, Another Cool Webcomic
I found Applegeeks Lite while reading through Robert Hewitt Wolfe's(former head writer for Andromeda) messageboard Q&A on the Andromeda: Coda "fanscript" thing he wrote about a year ago to straighten out how his real vision for the syndicated series Andromeda was supposed to play out. It made tons more sense than what the PTBs turned it into. Go figure.
I stopped watching midway through season 2. That's right about the time Wolfe was canned.
Anyway, that's how I found Applegeeks Lite buried in somebody's signature file.
Life is so much simpler without a backstory.
(via robert hewitt wolfe's messageboard)
Posted by Groonk at 09:13 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Comics
September 20, 2006
Zhang Forgot to Let Sleeping Pandas Lie
So many odd/surreal quotes in here. It's difficult to keep up.
The panda, who was asleep, was startled and bit Zhang, 35, on the right leg, it said. Zhang got angry and kicked the panda, who then bit his other leg. A tussle ensued, the paper said.
"I bit the fellow in the back," Zhang was quoted as saying in the newspaper. "Its skin was quite thick."
[...]
This next part uneases me:
I think it comes from being an American. If I do something wrong my government seeks to "press charges" or "put me under arrest." Or if you're the current President, you have that lovely option of secret prisons scattered about the world.
"Considering punishing him," has that extra wicked ring to it. It makes whatever government that says it turn instantly into a scolding parent ready to lock you in your room or run into the yard and pick a switch and it better be a good strong switch or you're really gonna get it then.
(via 7d)
Posted by Groonk at 04:22 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Quotables, Weird, World
September 19, 2006
Pirates vs Ninjas vs Bad Acting
Guess who won.
I log this as a lesson in a potentially funny premise fizzling into mediocrity.
Very unfortunate.
(via yahoo videos)
Posted by Groonk at 03:17 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Holiday, Video
Scarlett Johansson is a Curvy Wench
That's ok though cause she fine as wine. Hot as snot. Deliciously luscious.
And maybe a wee bit haughty.
And, given the chance, she'd like to trade lives with President Bush. "Whose life would I like to step into for the day? The president's. I could probably get some things done in the Oval Office."
(Scarlett Johansson news link via 7d)
---------------------------------------------
And other remarkable quotes:
(news link via 7d)
That's what Hu said.
...
Read the article and you will laugh...damnit.
---------------------------------------------
(via boingboing)
The article goes on to mention that murder suspects often claim spirits tricked them into killing. Many people still believe in black magic in Nigeria.
Posted by Groonk at 02:31 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Quotables
Pirates like to Sing
Funny little pirate song found on a YouTube search, me hearties.
Posted by Groonk at 05:53 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Holiday, Video
Today is the Day to be Touched by His Noodley Appendage
Why today? You're just not paying attention are you?
Posted by Groonk at 05:14 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, Funny, Religion
September 18, 2006
Evangelism Hits the World Stage of Being Meddlesome Towards Evolution
Evangelical Christians in Kenya are demanding that the exhibit at Nairobi's National Museum edit out references to human evolution in order to prevent young African Christians from being taught falsehoods.
[...]
It's not the exhibit itself the alliance opposes, Adoyo told Wired News, but rather its interpretation. A satisfactory solution, he said, would be to remove the words that would classify the fossils as "scientific evidence," displaying them instead as a history of other creatures, without connecting them to human beings.
"When you use evolution as God's tool in creating man in his image, you have to reckon with the fact at what stage in the evolution process does man attain to that image?" he said. "The conclusion is either God's image is evolving or God Himself is evolving or every creature has God's image. God could be anything and I'm afraid I cannot put my faith in a 'changing God' or an 'anything God'.”
(via wired news)
Posted by Groonk at 05:37 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Religion, Research, Science
September 16, 2006
Stephen Colbert gets a whole Bridge and 50 Good Dollars...
...in Hungary.
I teared-up a little when I saw this on Thursday night. It was not because I'm running low on badassedness. It was because my tears were tears of laughter/joy. Colbert seems genuinely amused by the whole deal.
Once again proving, the best comedy comes from the surreal truth. At least I guess it's true. It may be truthiness, instead. I'll have to visit Hungary in a few years to find out.
(via colbertnation and ONTD)
Posted by Groonk at 06:50 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Just Freaking Neat, Video, World
September 15, 2006
Earliest Stone Writing for Western Hemisphere
It's more than idle doodling and the meaning is unclear. But there's one thing researchers are sure of: The insect, ear of corn, inverted fish and other symbols inscribed on an ancient stone slab is the earliest known writing in the Western Hemisphere.
The arrangement and pattern of the symbols suggest the ancient Olmec civilization was using written language roughly three centuries earlier than previously proposed.
"We are dealing with the first, clear evidence of writing in the New World," said Stephen Houston, a Brown University anthropologist. Houston and his U.S. and Mexican colleagues detail the tablet's discovery and analysis in a study appearing this week in the journal Science.
[...]
Villagers in the Mexican state of Veracruz discovered the tablet sometime before 1999, while quarrying an ancient Olmec mound for road-building material. News of the discovery slowly trickled out, and the study's authors traveled to the site earlier this year to examine and photograph the block.
Based on other materials, including pottery shards, believed found with the slab, team concluded it is roughly 2,900 years old. Isolated signs similar to those inscribed on the block also appear on even older figurines found elsewhere in Mexico.
(via discovery)
Posted by Groonk at 03:55 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of History, Science
The Ballad of Eris and Dysnomia
The distant world whose discovery prompted leading astronomers to demote Pluto from the rank of "planet" has now been given its own official name.
Having caused so much consternation in the International Astronomical Union (IAU), the object has been called Eris, after the Greek goddess of discord.
Eris is larger than Pluto, which put scientists in the fix of having to call them both planets - or neither.
Both bodies have now been put in the new classification of "dwarf planets".
[...]
In mythology, Eris caused a quarrel among goddesses that sparked the Trojan War. In real life, Eris also caused strife, forcing scientists to produce a strict definition of the term planet - and that eventually led to Pluto losing the status it had held since its discovery in 1930.
[...]
Eris has a moon, and this too now has an official name: Dysnomia, the daughter of Eris known as the spirit of lawlessness.
The "new" Solar System agreed at the IAU's General Assembly has eight planets - Mercury to Neptune - and at least three dwarf planets: Pluto, Eris and the largest asteroid in the Solar System, Ceres.
Astronomers opposed to Pluto's demotion have launched a petition to try to get it reinstated.
(via warren ellis)
Posted by Groonk at 03:36 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Science
September 14, 2006
What in All Hell is Going on in Bend,Oregon?
They're selling hobbits as a way of life.
In The Shire you will find good, sturdy homes with personality and character and great neighbors who share common values and a desire for the sanctuary of home.
The Shire is conceived to be a retro community in its exterior appearance. Inside The Shire dwellings you'll find a blend of quaint and charming styling cues melded throughout completely modern floor plans, conveniences and appliances.
To achieve the character and feeling of English cottages and village townhomes, The Shire designers have specified only high quality fixtures and materials. Some materials, seldom seen in residential construction for a hundred years, have been resurrected and manufactured from contemporary compositions.
I don't know if I'm horrified or amused.
(via neil gaiman)
Posted by Groonk at 07:12 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Marketing, USA, Weird
"Why Smart People Do Dumb Things?"
Guy Kawaski's article on why big brained folk fail to backup their harddrives touched on everybody's raw nerve. So many dead harddrives, so much lost information(no, I don't mean porn...exclusively).
I know a couple people who fall in the categories skimmed in this article. People including me, I freely admit. I won't be vilgar and name other names though.
You smarties know who you are. It's the nature of the beast.
Truly, the book answers much deeper questions than why I was too dumb to backup my MacBook, but the concepts are the same. The authors list four reasons why smart, famous, powerful, and rich people who should obviously know better end up crashing and burning:
(The reasons mentioned are:Hubris, Arrogance, Narcissim and the Unconscious Need to Fail. Read all of Guy's article to get the complete scoop)
And the Tao of Backup is a funny site that will point you on the way..to backing-up periodically.
(via guy kawasaki's blog and amanda unboomed)
Posted by Groonk at 04:43 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Books, Just Freaking Neat, Linkable
September 13, 2006
Steve Irwin Fans Possibly Lose their Shit, Cut Off Stingray Tails
Mr Irwin, a TV personality known as the "Crocodile Hunter", was killed while diving in Queensland when a stingray's barb stabbed him in the chest.
Since then, 10 stingrays have been found mutilated on Queensland beaches.
Government officials said they were investigating the deaths and there could be prosecutions.
Two stingrays were found at a beach north of Brisbane with their tails cut off, while eight were found on another beach on Monday, The Australian reported.
Wayne Sumpton of the state fisheries department said it was not clear if the incidents were connected to Mr Irwin's death.
He said fishermen who inadvertently caught stingrays sometimes cut off their tails to avoid being stung, but such a practice was uncommon.
Ok, people, that's counterproductive to the whole idea of conservation and being a naturalist. If it's true and all that.
(via warren ellis)
Posted by Groonk at 02:09 AM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Culture, Weird
September 12, 2006
Dragon*Con TV was Clever
The fine folks who ran this year's Dragon*Con found clever ways to entertain the literate freaks and geeks in attendance.
They payed homage to Adult Swim's bumps and did a funny job of it. Funny haha.
fandom feast (my favorite)
http://dragoncontv.com/videos/123/
sf vs not sf
http://dragoncontv.com/videos/141/
please don't sue
http://dragoncontv.com/videos/138/
no one cares(another favorite)
http://dragoncontv.com/videos/134/
(via dunc)
Posted by Groonk at 02:48 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Blogged, Culture, Just Freaking Neat, Marketing
A Pace of Asses; An Unkindness of Ravens
I have it in my head to know how scientists group animals.
A sampling of groupings.
A TRIP of dotterel.
A COWARDICE of curs.
A CONGREGATION of eagles.
A FLAMBOYANCE of flamingoes
(via Hints and things
Also see Thomas' Animal Groupings name List.
Posted by Groonk at 02:37 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Science
Legos + Rubberbands = Some Superkickass Shiot
(via dunc and it loves you "that way" YouTube)
Posted by Groonk at 02:13 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Just Freaking Neat, Video
September 08, 2006
Google To Try and Steal Project Gutenberg's Thunder, Free Domain Mega Search Begins
Project Gutenberg has been doing this for years. That's all I'm saying.
And, honestly, Project Gutenberg is my first choice for finding free domain books. Google will be a distant second.
Using Google's Book Search service, Web surfers hunting titles like Dante's "Inferno" and Aesop's "Fables" will be able to download PDF files of the books for later reading, to run keyword searches or to print them on paper. Up to now, the service only allowed people to read the out-of-copyright books online.
(via diggnation and business week online)
Posted by Groonk at 07:41 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Books, Google-fied
September 07, 2006
TSA Endorses Sex in the Skies
I may be flying places in the distant future. It'd be nice to know what I can and cannot bring on my travels.
Neil Gaiman pointed out something that Mile High Club members should be very pleased about.
Toothpaste is out.
Hairgel is out.
"Topical or rash creams" are out.
Lip gels are out.
Shampoos and conditioners are out.
Personal lubricants are... just fine.
Yes. You and your favorite lubes are fine for flying those(now extra) friendly skies.
(via neil gaiman and TSA anti-terrorism list force)
Posted by Groonk at 08:46 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of USA
XKCD: A Comic after My Own Heart
Wheaton linked this awesome, but simple, webcomic drawn by a NASA Langley Research Center roboteer(my own personal word). His doodles are clever, cool and a lot of other 'c' words. The comic is updated Monday, Wednesday and Friday without fail.
Here's a funny one:
And he likes Serenity which is a film on my mind of late. Last vestiges of Dragon*Con, I suppose.
(via wilwheaton in exile)
Posted by Groonk at 01:07 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Comics, Just Freaking Neat
Maxakalisaurus topai was One Big Mutha
Scientists on Monday unveiled a replica of a skeleton scientists said was from the largest dinosaur species yet discovered in Brazil — a mid-sized herbivore that roamed central Brazil some 80 million years ago during the late Cretaceous period.
A scientific description of the dinosaur, which represents a previously unknown species and measured some 13 yards from head to tail, was published on Aug. 11 in Brazilian National Museum's bulletin.
Scientists named the dinosaur species Maxakalisaurus topai in homage to the Maxakali Indian tribe, which inhabits the region of Minas Gerais state where the bones were found.
[...]
(via discovery channel)
Posted by Groonk at 01:00 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Animals, Science
Google to Search 2 Whole Centuries of News
People using the search are shown results from both free and subscription-based news outlets.
Partners in the project include the websites of US newspaper the New York Times and the Guardian from the UK.
Other sources include news aggregators, websites which collect and display news stories from multiple sources.
"The goal here is to be able to explore history as it unfolded," said Anurag Acharya, an engineer at Google and one of the team behind the project.
(via bbc news)
Posted by Groonk at 12:42 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Google-fied
September 06, 2006
Universal Weights and Measures or Our Big Damn Universe
The universal size of things from the Death Star to Earth to a blue giant and beyond.
(via rocketboom)
Posted by Groonk at 01:00 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Research, Science, Video
September 05, 2006
Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin (1962 - 2006)
You know how you're sure that something tragic will happen to a person(because of their chosen profession) and then it happens and then you're insanely weirded out by your apparent omniscience and sort of sad even though you don't really know that person?
Well, that's how I feel about Stever Irwin's passing.
BEERWAH, Australia - Steve Irwin pulled a poisonous stingray barb from his chest in his dying moments, his longtime manager said Tuesday, after watching videotape of the attack that killed the popular "Crocodile Hunter."
Irwin's body was returned home to Beerwah, a hamlet in southeastern Queensland on the fringe of the Outback where he lived with his wife and two young children. Irwin turned a modest reptile park opened by his parents into Australia Zoo, a wildlife reserve that has become an international tourist attraction.
The Animal Planet website has a rememberance page up that's worth a look.
(via the superficial twice, iwatchstuff, and 7d)
He wrestled the raw power of nature and got away with it for longer than most of us would have.
RIP, guy.
Posted by Groonk at 11:53 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Culture, People Who Died, Video
September 04, 2006
Vader Works at the Grocery
Remnants of my weekend linger. Look at this hilarity. Revel in the warmth of geekiness.
(via dunc!)
Posted by Groonk at 09:19 PM | Comments (0) | Ministry of Funny, Just Freaking Neat, Movies, Video







