Black History in Comics: Black Vulcan. Hero. In his pants.

Technically, Black Vulcan was not an original comics character. He was stolen from one. Creators of botox afflicted animation, Hanna Barbera, asked for the rights to DC Comics Black Lightning(a hero to be focused on another day) but changed their minds and made their own knockoff: Black Vulcan.

It was the 70s. That long ago age when barbershops were shunned and cars lined up for miles to grab a cheap gallon of gas. In effort to make our Saturday mornings more identifiable(and by ‘our’ we mean Americans of other ethnicities) the Superfriends became multicultural. As we’ve mentioned before, The Suits tactic worked on Kid Groonk. The only excuse we have for accepting such blatant stereotyping is that we were young and very stupid. As opposed to being older and slightly less stupid today.

The Superfriends Black Vulcan trickled down into the 80s and kept entertaining the superhero addicted tykes on network TV until the early 90s. But old cartoons never die. Their cels are virtually immortal. To the delight of all Adult Swim’s Harvey Birdman saw fit to re-introduce Black Vulcan as a parody of his former self.

You lucky children of the 21st century don’t have to rely on nostalgia for our misplaced youth. For you, faithful readers, have You Tube.

Wonder Woman and Black Vulcan vs “VooDoo Vampires”
In the darkest depth of Africa sits a temple adorned in bats. From this temple comes Storm…er…I mean Vampiress: the VooDoo vampire. Her ultimate evil plan? To be a bat and flit about the jungle all threatening-like. When Vampiress bores of this she attacks random safari goers with LASERS from her FANGS. Apparently the drugs were very good back in the 70s.

The Timeline of a Great Catchphrase “In my pants”
Pure comedy genius…in his pants.

(via wayback machine you tube, @misterperturbed)

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Google is Sneaky, Quietly Shares their Electronic Tablet Concept

While the world continues to express their like or dislike or lack of caring about the sexy, yet creatively impotent, Apple iPad, Google sneaks their ideas about what a fully functional electronic notepad should look and work.

Hey, Google! Have you met Bonner R&D?

Video under the jump.

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Black History in Comics: EC Comics “Judgment Day” the Anvil that Needed to be Dropped

From the day this site was born there’s always been a thought towards what would be posted during Black History Month. February would roll around, same time every year, and lack of forethought, unsure what theme to focus on, or just the business of life got in the way. This year preparedness rules and Black History in Comics begins.

Judgment Day or How EC Comics’ William Gaines Won Our Respect
We are not a fan of melodrama. Pulling emotional strings for the sake of tugging at an audiences’ heart cords smacks of laziness. Exceptions to this are: if it’s done for the sake of comedy or if you’re talented enough to pull it off. The list of creators capable of doing the latter are few. But there are times when, to paraphrase a Winston Churchill quote, ‘the anvil must be dropped.’

While strolling through TV Tropes, killing precious time, we learned of EC Comics “Judgment Day.” It’s this tale of the battle to get the story published uncensored that won our respect for Mad magazine publisher William Gaines.

Gaines waged a number of battles with the Comics Code Authority in an attempt to keep his magazines free from censorship. In one particular example noted by comics historian Digby Diehl, Gaines threatened Judge Charles Murphy, the Comics Code Administrator, with a lawsuit when Murphy ordered EC to alter the science-fiction story “Judgment Day.” The story depicted a human astronaut visiting a planet inhabited by robots as a representative of the Galactic Republic. He finds the robots divided into functionally identical orange and blue races, one of which has fewer rights and privileges than the other. The astronaut decides that due to the robots’ bigotry, the Galactic Republic should not admit the planet. In the final panel, he removes his helmet, revealing himself to be a black man. Murphy demanded, without any authority in the Code, that the black astronaut had to be removed. As Diehl recounted in Tales from the Crypt: The Official Archives:

This was the 1950s, faithful reader. That time in American history where contemporary politicians like to harken upon as “better days.”It was also a time where this writer would not be allowed to drink from the same water fountain as his white classmates. This also assumes we were allowed to attend the same public school.

In the 50s the newly created Comics Code was the voluntarily accepted moral authority. This authority insisted the human astronaut couldn’t be a black man which, as Gaines pointed out, was the point of the whole damn story.

Feldstein, interviewed for the book Tales of Terror: The EC Companion, reiterated his recollection of Murphy making the racist request:
“ So he said it can’t be a Black [person]. So I said, ‘For God’s sakes, Judge Murphy, that’s the whole point of the Goddamn story!’ So he said, ‘No, it can’t be a Black’. Bill [Gaines] just called him up [later] and raised the roof, and finally they said, ‘Well, you gotta take the perspiration off’. I had the stars glistening in the perspiration on his Black skin. Bill said, ‘Fuck you’, and he hung up.

William Gaines is a man we would have loved to have met.

The link hoppers in the audience may have noticed that we’ve been dropping a few anvils of our own.

If you’re wanting to read the story in question you can. Click on over to Daily Scans and read on…

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And You Really Think People will Pay Money for That?

(via Whitechapel and Internetz)

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Music Parody: “Too Late to Apologize: A Declaration,” Like a Shot Heard Round the World

Friends of Adam Frazier took OneRepublic’s “Too Late (To Apologize)” and made a parody that the gods cannot ignore. We are like everyone at Soomo and had to look up the Timbaland video to gain a point of reference.

After seeing the original we’ve decided the Soomo video is better, has more awesome, makes sense, is funny, rocks our eyesockets/earholes, and teaches American kids why the USA is better than Britain.

Sorry British friends, it had to be said.*

(via Adam Frazier, Soomo Publishing)

*Return the 10th Doctor to us safe and unharmed and we might be willing to ignore 200+ years of our history.

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Tuesday Tease: THE LOSERS Trailer Hits Internet, Looks Funner than A-TEAM

Above sits THE LOSERS movie poster featured at Nerd Prom ‘09.

Below sits THE LOSERS first official trailer which looks damn good:
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MSFC Ares I and Return to Moon Dead, Guess You *Can* Take the Sky From Me

We saw this coming from miles away. Though we’re confused about the priorities. During the 60s there were several major social revolutions and wars aplenty . Yet the USA still managed to go to the moon. We did this using computers less powerful than a contemporary digital watch.

The Office of Management and Budget has released the proposed $19 billion fiscal year 2011 budget for NASA, with plans to cancel the Marshall Space Flight Center-managed Ares I and directions to shift focus away from returning to the moon to continue support of the International Space Station.

Are we being delusional because current times are tough? Let’s face it. Times are always tough. The benefits from the Apollo program are countless. Imagine what we could learn by stepping off our front porch. All of you practical minded folk who don’t have the love for The Black like we do, please consider the shear volume of jobs that would be created just to send a manned mission into Mars orbit.

There will be no lunar landers, no moon bases, no Constellation program at all.

In their place, according to White House insiders, agency officials, industry executives and congressional sources familiar with Obama’s long-awaited plans for the space agency, NASA will look at developing a new “heavy-lift” rocket that one day will take humans and robots to explore beyond low Earth orbit. But that day will be years — possibly even a decade or more — away.

Beyond low Earth orbit is not good enough. We’ve been out there for decades. Why not stroll down the street to see what’s there?

Robots are not good enough. Until we create the intelligence that will fuel our future robot overlords, they don’t have the know-how, the poetry, or the will to get things done. This new tact is not the way of the future.

Today, our Space Bastard soul is disappointed.

(via al.com, phys.org )

UPDATE: @BryanMcB tells us that Buzz Aldrin is all about skipping the moon and going right to Mars: [PDF]. A bold and awesome thought. Aldrin hopes that more commercial explorations of low Earth orbit will “likely result in so many more earthlings being able to experience the transformative power of spaceflight.”

If only we could be as positive as Mr Aldrin about this.

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Good Morning: Wild Things are Where You Find Them

(Via Whitechapel but found somewhere on Internet.)

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Scientists’ Quantum Computer Perfectly Simulates Nature, Basically a Simple “Mother Box”

The Wired article begins by stating how Richard Feynman predicted a computer that would perfectly mimic nature. This wouldn’t be a close approximation like what digital computers do with mathematical shortcuts. What Feynman meant was an exact replication.

Now, finally, groups at Harvard and the University of Queensland in Brisbane, Australia, have designed and built a computer that hews closely to these specs. It is a quantum computer, as Feynman forecast. And it is the first quantum computer to simulate and calculate the behavior of a molecular, quantum system.

[...]

Quantum computing’s power stems from the curiosity that a qubit — a bit of quantum information — is not limited to holding a single discrete binary number, 1 or 0, as is the bit of standard computing. Qubits exist in a limbo of uncertainty, simultaneously 1 and 0. Until the computation is done and a detector measures the value, that very ambiguity allows greater speed and flexibility as a quantum computer searches multiple permutations at once for a final result.

That’s not even the really cool part.

“Every time you add an electron or other object to a quantum problem, the complexity of the problem doubles,” says James Whitfield, a graduate student at Harvard and second author on the paper. “The great thing,” he added, “is that every time you add a qubit to the computer, its power doubles too.” In formal language, the power of a quantum computer scales exponentially with its size (as in number of qubits) in exact step with the size of quantum problems. In fact, says his professor, Aspuru-Guzik, a computer of “only” 150 qubits or so would have more computing power than all the supercomputers in the world today, combined.

You know what that sounds like to us? A Mother Box. That’s right Mister Miracle’s favorite get out of jail free card. A tool of the New Gods and Darkseid. A thing made of “Element X” that spins Boom Tubes(your basic short-cut through the universe wormhole) at your command.

Boom Tubes, people! Science is doing its damndest to catch up to our imaginations. All we have to do is let it.

And get more kids into scientific fields, of course.

(via Wired)

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Sword Canes Plague Airport Security, Explains Why Zatoichi Always Walked

Errant bottles of mouthwash are not allowed. Fingernail clippers are right out. The most obvious hidden weapon since the days of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. or any Zatoichi-esque flick, including Rutger Hauer’s BLIND FURY, and airport security screeners are shocked by their existence. What’s even more unbelievable is that fact they think the elderly passengers are “just as surprised” their seemingly innocent walking aids hide sharpened righteous justice underneath.

Since 2002, TSA screeners have found more than 200 canes concealing either swords or knives. Many of these incidents involve elderly travelers who are just as surprised as the security screeners to find sabers hidden inside canes they may have inherited, found at antique shops, or received from charities. In September alone, four such incidents occurred according to documents provided by the TSA.

[...]

During the Middle Ages, members of the nobility carried walking sticks with blades on pilgrimages. And at the peak of cane popularity, in the 19th century, men would have an array of canes including so-called defense canes. Romantic poet Lord Byron wrote about carrying one in an 1816 diary entry describing a mountain hike. “Guide wanted to carry my cane; I was going to give it to him when I recollected that it was a swordstick and I thought the lightning might be attracted toward him; kept it myself.”

Elsewere on Groonk.net:

(via Stephen Colbert, gawker, WSJ)

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